Jesus in Genesis?

Genesis 13 and 14- Last night, rather than blog, I sat outside my house for an hour waiting to scare my brother's friends with my lightsaber. Worth it. One of them screamed and jumped. My lightsaber is blue and makes lightsaber noises when I push the button. Since I missed last week (vacation), I will do two this week.

Abram and his...entourage (for simplicity's sake)...went back to the place where Abram made that first altar. This is hilarious, because it shows Abram ending up right back where he started before he stopped trusting God and wasted a bunch of time in Egypt. Abram learned something though and he also got some riches from the Pharoah. Abram and Lot then said to each other, “This town ain’t big enough for the both of us.” They had too much stuff and the herdsmen were fighting for grazing land. Abram graciously let his nephew choose the nice half of the area (the Jordan Valley near Sodom) and Abram settled in Canaan. Abram knew now that it didn’t matter where he was or how luscious the land was. God would provide. God reiterated his promise of numerous descendants, even though Abram was about 70-80 years old and hadn’t spawned anything yet.

The kings living in the area were mostly destructive. There was a war in Lot’s area. Lot and his entourage were captured. An escapee went to tell “Abram the Hebrew”. This is the first time the word “Hebrew” is used in the Bible. That word comes from a verb meaning “to pass over” or “to traverse” and has been translated as “the passenger.” You don't mess with an honorable man's family. It was on now. Abram led his army of 318 trained men, born in his house, and got Lot and his stuff back. Abram attacked at night, splitting his army into two groups so that he could come at them from two sides, showing at least the level of cleverness my brother and dad exhibit while playing Call of Duty.

The king of a place called Salem was Melchizedek, a “priest of God Most High”. Salam was where Jerusalem is now, meaning that God had one of his own ruling over that city from the start. Melchizedek is the first priest mentioned in the Bible. Melchizedek was obviously not a member of the Jewish or a Christian religions, but he knew God. It would be great to have more backstory on him, but alas. 

Melchizedek IS mentioned later in the Bible. In Psalms, it says that the Messiah’s priesthood is one “according to the order of Melchizedek,” meaning that it is not one according to the order of Aaron. This is seriously interesting. There are two priesthoods. One religious (Aaron) and one merely spiritual, consisting of people who just know God and have God reveal himself to them in other ways? One Jewish and one Christian? One on this plane and one on a different plane/dimension? That could get nerdy.

Hebrews says that Melchizedek had no parents, genealogy, birth, or death, and that he was made like Christ, remaining a priest continually.  This has prompted many to suggest that Melchizedek was not a person, but a manifestation of someone else. Suggestions include, but are not limited to, Christ, Job, an angel, Seth, and even aliens. 

Melchizedek blessed Abram and then blessed God, showing that priests should have a relationship with both God and man, ministering to both of them. It’s not a one-way street where humans ask God for things and then leave Him alone. We are supposed to be in continual communication and giving between each other and God, even if we will never out-serve God. Abram gave Melchizedek a tenth of everything he owned. Melchizedek also served Abram bread and wine. I think, due to the bread and wine, a Christ manifestation makes the most sense. I don’t know if I think he actually was Christ, but I think he was supposed to represent or foreshadow him. We will never know, because the Bible likes to leave stuff out and drive me crazy.

The king of Sodom offered Abram some of the spoils of war, but Abram didn’t take any, because he wanted the credit for his success to go to God, not the king of Sodom. Abram encouraged the other kings to take whatever they wanted. This is a good example of a believer doing his own thing and not judging others for the way they choose to make their way in the world. These chapters mention that the people of Sodom were wicked. So, naturally, Lot moves right back there. Mmmmmmmhmmm.

What Jack Bauer and Abraham have in common. Also, incest!

Last chapter, we heard about Abram and his family. The next thing we know, God is talking to him and telling him to move away from his home. We don’t know if this is the first time they’ve talked or if God is just all, “Hey, man. Nice to meet you. MOVE.” Either way, it was asking a lot and it was weird for the time. In that culture, there were many gods, not one who told you to leave everything you knew behind. Abram came from a family of idol worshippers, so he had one mean cycle to break. This was a guy who turned his back on his whole culture, family, and much of his value system to follow God, even if he went through some rough patches in his faith later.

Most of us don’t really give up anything for God. Possibly premarital sex, but hey, lots of Christians do that too. I think it’s a shame that for plenty of believers, God doesn’t affect their day-to-day lives. This is gonna sound Buddhist, but we have too many attachments in this life that just aren’t eternal. But Abram was hardcore. That’s why we know his name now. Following God like that is the only way you can make a permanent mark and do something that matters and lasts. Abram/Abraham didn’t start out a hall-of-faith-er. He was called. God brought him into that destiny. God tells Abram that if he goes to “the land I will show you,” God will make him into a great nation (done, the Jews), he will make Abram’s name great (done, three major religions honor and remember him for his faith), and he will be a blessing.

God says he will bless those who bless Abram and curse those who curse him. You know how people always say, “Oh, if Obama/Bush/Palin/Whoever is elected, I will move to Canada/Switzerland/ /Wherever?” I always roll my eyes like, “No you won’t, you drama king. America will always be awesome.” Well there is one thing that would make me move: If America seriously betrayed Israel or the Jewish people. It would be time to duck and run. Too many countries who have broken faith with Israel have seen their last days as the superpowers they once were. It’s probably my one superstition, and this passage is where it comes from. America has been pretty good to the Jewish people, and I think it’s a big part of why we are so blessed.

 God says all peoples on earth will be blessed through Abram (Jesus). Abram thought that sounded like a cool deal and went. Abram’s nephew Lot and Abram’s wife Sarai came too, and they took all their stuff and “people they had acquired” and went to Canaan. There’s some debate over whether Abram only partially obeyed God, since he took Lot with him after God told him to leave his kindred. At Canaan, the Lord appeared to Abram after Abram built an altar. Sadly, we don’t get to know in what form God appeared to Abram.

Famine came to the land, so Abram went to Egypt. Even the casual, first-time reader should raise his eyebrows at this. Abram did not trust God to provide and keep him alive in the land he had been sent to. He left. I don’t blame him. It’s all well-and-good to trust God for things like heaven, which is (in our minds) a long way away. But when needs and wants are immediate, we scramble for control and shortcuts. I have a discussion with my dad based off the show 24 from time-to-time. We both loved the show and Jack Bauer, but I’m not pro-torture. 

On the show it’s fine/pretend, but lots of people say that, in real life, they would torture terrorists themselves and that we get good information that way. I always wonder if, in that situation, a Christian should choose to respect the image of God and trust that God will provide the needed information some other way instead. I wonder if we just hold onto the honorable thing and wait for him, rather than grasp for a way to fix the situation ourselves, God will come through in the eleventh hour? I don’t know what I would do in that actual situation, if there were lives on the line and I really thought torture could help save them or uncover terrorist cells. But it’s interesting to think about, and you have to admit that it's a matter of doing something horrific because you think that YOU have to save the day. What should a Christian do in that situation?

Abram told his wife, who was a hottie, to say she was his sister so that people wouldn’t get jealous and try to kill Abram. This sounds like a solid (if paranoid) plan, but it was actually one of Abram’s life failings. Sarai was about 60, so this either means that this was a culture that valued older beauty or Sarai aged really well. Or she invented the first line of Maybelline. Gross Bible fact of the week: Sarai and Abram told the Egyptians a half-truth. Yep, she was his half-sister. GROSS. Rather than smite Abram for, you know, incest, God was more concerned with Abram trusting in a lie over trusting in God. God lays the smackdown on incest later. It still happens though (but at least then, it's a sin). 

Pharoah took Sarai to his palace and Pharoah rewarded Sarai’s “brother” with cattle and sheep and stuff. Then, the Lord gave Pharoah a disease. Pharoah was ticked at Abram for lying and getting God mad at him. Pharoah found out that Sarai was Abram’s wife, gave her back, and told them to go. My immediate question is: In that time, did Pharoah sleep with Abram’s wife? Whether that happened or not, God was concerned about this situation. If the Messiah was going to come from her line, God didn’t want that womb touched by this Egyptian guy. He already had to wipe out the whole world in the flood to protect wombs. God is serious about this issue. Pharoah seemed like an alright guy. He would have respected the marriage and seems upset that Abram caused him to sin and be punished. I hope God cured him, but the Bible doesn’t say.

So what can we take from all this? Probably more than I can pick out (especially during exam time). But here’s what I get: Not trusting God just brings more trouble in the long run. You can try to have your own hand on every area of your life, or you can let God protect you and take you when your time is up. I love love love how in the Old Testament, most of the giants of faith have their bad patches. It just goes to show how much God can use people who doubt, start off rough, or have periods of rebellion. Never count anyone out.

The hiatus is reaching this blog as well

It's exam time, so I got nothin'. Try back next week. Thanks :-)

Table of Nations and Babel

Genesis 10-11. In Genesis 10, we get the Table of Nations. This is way more interesting than it sounds, because it lays out who ended up populating each portion of the world. It's been a topic of study for historians and linguists for hundreds of years, so there's plenty of information out there, if you want it. There is evidence for Genesis 10's accuracy. 

Japheth’s descendents span from India up to Western Europe. Ham’s descendents took up Africa (bringing to mind Noah’s curse on Ham’s descendents mentioned in chapter nine) and the Far East. Ham’s included Nimrod, a mighty warrior and hunter before the Lord. He inspired a saying: “Like Nimrod, a mighty hunter before the Lord.” This isn’t a compliment. Nimrod means “let us rebel.” Nimrod was violent guy. 

Shem’s descendants (the Semites) are Persian, Assyrian, Syrian, and Hebrew. Some think that one of Shem’s named descendants, Jobab, might have been the man we know as Job later in the Old Testament. It’s possible and around the right time to be Job. Most Bibles that put the books in chronological order put Job either before or right after Genesis, implying that the writings inside indicate that Job lived close to the beginning.

One of Shem’s descendents, Peleg, was named so “because his time on the earth was divided.” It’s unfortunate that we can only speculate as to what that means. It’s been suggested that this was a continental divide, a family/language divide that happened after Babel halfway through his life, or some other sort of natural division on earth. Something happened to Peleg that divided his life into two halves. If you are nerdy enough to want more on the Table of Nations, you can check this out to start.

Now to Babel. This was in Babylon. The Bible says that the whole world had one common speech and decided to build city with a tower that reaches to the heavens. It is unlikely that they really wanted to reach a physical Heaven. It is more likely that they wanted it to just be very tall. The main reason for this was so that they could make a name for themselves, rather than be “scattered over the face of the whole Earth.” The ancient Greek historian Herodotus claimed to have seen the tower of Babel, saying that it still stood in this day. It was made with the same waterproof material God advised Noah use for the ark, so it is possible that this tower would be very durable.

God saw this tower and said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them.” HUH?!! So does that mean that God doesn’t want us to achieve anything? Is it wrong for us to have success and to work together? Obviously not, but man, couldn't he have worded it better? We should always look at God’s possible merciful motivations, because that’s just who he is and what he’s about. He was probably making it so that our power over the Earth would not go unchecked.

Picture us all, now, as one nation with all the resources. Things could go badly. It’s also merciful to stop these people from trusting in the power of the mob and in organized rebellions against God. Yeah, we've built taller buildings before, but here it was time to create nations, separate destructive people, and spread them out over the Earth so that they could get diverse and discovery a whole host of differing things.

The attitude of Babel was to trust in its own ability and find success that way, rather than trust in God. I think today’s culture is similar to that of Babel. Everywhere you look, there are messages telling kids to follow their dreams, go to college, succeed, get famous, nurture their talents, whatever. Success in itself isn’t a bad thing and there’s a fine line between pursuing goals with God in mind and with yourself in mind. It’s good to do your best to achieve you were made to accomplish on Earth.

It’s wrong to find your identity, security, joy, and glory in that success. It’s wrong to be so focused on accomplishment that if you start failing or lose those accomplishments, your life means nothing and you are devastated. I think in today’s culture, we don’t realize that we are doing this. We don’t realize that we are trying to control our destinies and ensure bright futures at the cost of slowing down, questioning our motivations, and focusing on serving others. I think this society’s most hidden idol is the idol of success. One pastor when speaking of idols says that idolatry is when you take good things and make them ultimate things.

Look especially at movies where the salvation arc ends in financial, career, or achievement-related success. They are common and they are cathartic. This sort of salvation arc where people throw off their obstacles and succeed is one of the only salvation arcs the secular world has. But this attitude bleeds over into Christian circles. It leads to people taking jobs and picking majors that are soul-crushing to them. They don’t love the work, they weren’t made to do the work, and the work does not fit them. They do this work because it will bring them money or acclaim.

There are TONS of these people walking around law school. They don’t do the jobs because they believe in them or enjoy them; they are a means to an end, which is a shame. I know lots of people have to make a living, financially, and that’s different. There is a difference between doing something for survival and doing something mostly for pride. Some people use survival as an excuse when they could really live on a smaller salary and do a job that fits them. Do you think the people of Babel enjoyed making all those bricks? Naw. It was for the goal of self-glorification.

God then said, “Come, let us go down and confuse their language so that they will not understand each other.” Whether God was saying this to Jesus and the Holy Spirit (in a Gollum-like way) or to his angel buddies, I don’t know, but God scattered these people all over the Earth and confused the languages of the whole world. That’s why the city is called Babel. This story has sort of dampened my desire to learn other languages, because I decided as a kid that other languages are bad and that the whole differing language thing was a curse and a punishment. I’m over this attitude, because you can see how the languages we have today (as opposed to the ancient ones in Babel) developed through cultural and geographical factors. They are a part of history and there are good parts to history to learn and celebrate.

Following this story is an account of Shem’s family line all the way to Abram and his nephew Lot. Abram means “father.” It is immediately mentioned that Abram married an infertile woman, Sarai, whose name means “contentious.”

Be Fruitful and Multiply, But Don't Get Drunk Around Your Spawn Unless He Has Your Back

Genesis 9. We get to a mildly controversial portion. God blesses Noah and sons and tells them to be fruitful and multiply. In Genesis 1:28, back with Adam and Eve, it said, “And God blessed them and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply.’” Later, God tells Jacob (who needs to start Israel) to be fruitful and multiply. Mere sentences earlier, God blesses Jacob. This indicates that “be fruitful and multiply” is a blessing, not a command. God declares the blessing and then fulfills it himself. The people cannot control their fertility.

Lots of people think that this is a command. In fact, a family member recently told me, “Well, Paul only said it’s Okay to stay single because he thought the world was about to end, and because Christians were being persecuted. The Bible says to be fruitful and multiply, so the Godly thing for modern Christians is to marry and have children.” Well, by that logic, you can say that “be fruitful and multiply” was just for the Genesis time as well. Those commands appear only in Genesis when God is trying to populate the world or the nation of Israel from just a few people. Deuteronomy 4:2 says, “You shall not add onto the thing that I command you, and you shall not subtract from it.” Jesus complained that Pharisees were piling burdens on the backs of people that the people could not carry. We should be careful not to do that here.

Paul’s commands are a fascinating view of singleness and marriage the world had never seen up to that point. Paul’s point is for people to be content and not see their salvation in family. It is good to have children and marry, although the blessings come with unique challenges that can split your attention. It is good to stay single because then you can focus your attention on other things. During Paul’s ministry, he was single. If this were a command, then Paul would have been sinning while he was spreading God’s word as a bachelor.

Even the Catholic church, which bans artificial birth control, isn’t as firm on the breeding command as some might think. In 1994, Pope John Paul II addressed procreation saying, “Unfortunately, Catholic thought is often misunderstood as if the Church supported an ideology of fertility at all costs, urging married couples to procreate indiscriminately and without thought for the future… When there is a reason not to procreate, this choice is permissible and may even be necessary….But…biological rhythms cannot be "violated" by artificial interference.” So “natural family planning” is alright in Catholicism (although way less reliable than artificial birth control).

As always, I could be wrong. Moving on: We get to the first alcohol gone wrong story in the Bible. Noah made his own wine, drank it, got naked, and went to bed in his tent, uncovered. Ham saw his father naked in the tent and went out to tell his brothers. Shem and Japheth took a garment and covered Noah up, careful to not see their father naked. You can just picture the two of them walking backwards into the tent, trying to cover up their father without looking. Hilarious. Noah woke up and, seemingly inexplicably, is mad at Ham. He curses Ham’s descendents and blesses those of his older sons. Hey dude, don’t take your hangover out on others?? Well, there has to be more to this story.

This raises the question: What did Ham do to Noah? In the third century, two rabbis debated over whether Ham sodomized Noah or castrated him. What?!! Where did they get that? I mean, maybe. The phrase “became uncovered” and nakedness are sometimes associated with sexual relations in the Bible (Leviticus 18). To me, the Bible only indicates that Ham looked at Noah, but some think that Ham’s punishment was too harsh for only that. I think it makes sense that looking at someone’s genitals might have been much more offensive in another time and place than it is here and now. I think the more important question is: Why is this in the Bible?

I think it shows a running theme through the Bible: shame and covering. We all feel shame on some level almost all the time. Shame actually becomes harder to feel when you are drunk, thus, the lowered inhibitions and one of the appeals of drinking. This isn’t some cry for help or confession of depression on my part; I'm find. I just think it’s true that shame is a factor and if you don’t know it about yourself, you either aren’t self-aware, call your shame something else, or are totally lying. Be honest: If someone were to take all your thoughts and fantasies from the past week and project them onto everyone’s TVs at night, how mortified would you be? Isn’t it a balm for shame when you can voyeuristically look at another’s failures, hear some gossip, or see celebrities getting fat or crazy, and think, “Well, at least I’m not as bad as they are.” Don’t we feel exposed and threatened when we are criticized? Are there parts of you that you hide, downplay, or spin in order to get people to approve of you? Isn’t it both awesome and terrifying that there is Someone who sees every thought and has thoroughly searched our hearts, knowing us better than we know ourselves?

My go-to solution for shame was always to expose my sins as quickly as possible and then resolve to do better/meet my expectations next time. I just tell everyone my failures and take the consequences and lectures then and there. This has gone well, for the most part. It makes things easier, it teaches you to be honest and admit when you are wrong, you face problems head-on, and it buffs up your courage. But guess what? Shame is still there. Even if you would confess them, could you recognize and verbalize every secret holding you back? We should realize that Christ took all that shame on himself on the cross. It’s gone. Then why do we, as Christians, still feel shame? Lack of faith? Because we still live here? Because there are things of which we haven’t repented? Because we know we aren’t taking advantage of our opportunities and could do more with our lives? I don’t have the answer to that.

Maybe I’m alone in this (or maybe I just feel alone in this because everyone tries so hard to look like they have everything together), but the Bible says I’m not. The Bible recognizes that we want to be covered and phrases Jesus’ sacrifice as “covering” us. Even Noah, a man so great that God saved him in the flood, feels shame with exposure. After he was shamed through exposure, rape, or mutilation, his younger sons covered him up. Ham went behind Noah’s back and tittered to his brothers. “Look at the old man. He’s not so great. He’s drunk and naked.” Ham amplified Noah’s shame, and we get to see that even back then, even the best, oldest, and wisest of humans felt this universal feeling. Are we supposed to cover for each other and ease social stings? Possibly, but I don’t know if we are up to it. I know shame is not the victor in a Christian's story and that its days are numbered. I think that's enough.

The Flood

Genesis 7-8. A week before the flood, God told Noah (age 600) that it was time to board. The Lord shut them in the ark. This is significant because it means that Noah could not open the door to any of his screaming neighbors once the flood started. It’s merciful, because it takes judgment out of Noah’s hands. Noah is not the one laying out or enforcing the sentence. In the same way, we are not to judge whether anyone is saved or not, even if we don’t think they “act like a Christian.” God still has total control of the doors.

We saw in the previous chapter that God felt actual pain at the evil of humanity. When God created humans, he did not have to tie his heart to them. God chose to love people so that when things go wrong, as they will in a free will universe, he feels actual pain. Love is not safe. You won’t be able to really love someone without suffering, giving, sacrificing, getting your feelings hurt, taking hits to your pride, or grieving. Supposedly, it’s all worth it.

God “opened the floodgates of heaven,” meaning that the waters above the firmament mentioned in chapter one broke up. These waters existed in the upper part of the earth’s atmosphere since God created the world. Waters also came up from the earth. God sent rain for forty days and forty nights. The number 40 is usually significant in the Bible. It comes when people need to be tested or purified and when they are coming into a new phase of life (Moses on Sinai, Jesus’ temptation in the wilderness, Israel wandering the wilderness for 40 years, Elijah in 1Kings 19).

This was a global flood. More than 200 cultures (including Native Americans, Hindus, Chinese, Egyptians, Celts, and Brazilian tribes) have a great flood story, and most of them include details similar to the Genesis account. This indicates that a great flood really happened and the story was passed down through history.

The rain covered the mountains. Everything on dry land died. The floodwaters remained for 150 days. We guess God really wanted to make sure everybody was good and dead. Then God sent a wind over the Earth to speed the waters’ recession. The ark landed on Mount Ararat and Noah sent birds out to see how much longer they had to wait.

Lots of Westerners have trouble with the wrathful God of the Old Testament. Other cultures have a problem with the merciful God. Our culture is saturated with Christianity, and it therefore values forgiveness and charity. Other cultures value judgment and righteousness and have trouble with the God of grace.

Plenty of pastors point out that there is a bigger problem with a God who is not just and who never punishes. If God is not outraged by evil and suffering, then there is no justice and evil wins the day. If you never get angry, you don’t care. God cares and made people for better things than this. Also, we must keep in mind that God takes every life eventually. The death curse is already in play. God is just speeding the process here in order to avoid more suffering. It is wrong for us to cut other lives short, because we did not give them life in the first place. It’s not ours to do.

Noah’s first act after leaving the ark was to build an altar to God and sacrifice some of the clean animals on it. The Lord smells the pleasing aroma and said in his heart that he would never curse the ground again because of humans and he would never destroy all living creatures again. He also remarked that every inclination of the human heart is evil from childhood. He said, “So long as the Earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.”

Tim Keller points out in his environmentalism sermon that Christianity is the only faith with hope for the world and creation. Salvation doesn’t apply to anyone but humans in the others. For example, in Hinduism and Buddhism, the goal is to drop out of the Earth. In those Eastern religions, the world is an illusion, not a real eternal concern. In atheism, the world will eventually burn up. In Protestant and Catholic Christianity, Heaven is not someplace else; it’s here. God is going to restore the Earth to its former glory. Here, God makes a commitment to creation that will last forever. Salvation doesn’t just transform human souls, but that's where it starts. What God is going to do through Christ and healing applies to everything. The lion will lie down with the lamb. It won’t be destroyed in another flood.

Humans should have learned a lesson here, but they didn’t. They should have learned that you can’t cure the world’s problems with eugenics or mass killings. The sin curse was still in Noah and his family. A world-wide, human-killing flood was not powerful enough to wipe out evil in the world. It will take something more powerful. It will take the death of God himself to kill this disease and start the healing of the entire world and humanity. So when Hitler or someone comes along and says, “Let’s kill or exile all the bad people, and then everything will be alright,” they aren’t remembering the flood story.

As humans, we know there is something wrong with humanity. That’s why we are so sensitive, devastated when we are criticized, and constantly either picking at ourselves or others. Self-improvement books sell like hotcakes. We strive to be more successful, thinner, better. If only we had this certain personality or this opportunity, we would like ourselves. We use psychology and biology to attempt to weed out our flaws and not pass them on. But nothing like this is ever going to work. Killing all the evil people doesn’t work. Someone once said, “Why do bad things happen to good people? That only happened once, and he volunteered for it.” It’s true. Destruction on this level cannot cure the problem of evil and suffering, so it is foolish to think human efforts or human killings can help matters. God shows us that here. Later in the Bible, he will show us grace.

It Was Like Spiritual AIDS or Something

Genesis 6. Oh man, not Noah’s ark. I never liked this story growing up. Adults always seem to trot it out for children too, just because it features animals. “Hey, kids! Here’s the scientifically questionable story about how God wipes out nearly all of humanity! What fun!” But the Bible is full of things we'd rather not know. Later, Lot's daughters get him drunk and rape him, making them the worst daughters of all time. We’ll get there. It’s gonna be gross, so brace yourselves.

Earlier, I sighed at this part of the story, because God wiping humans out didn’t get rid of violence and evil hearts. He knew it wouldn’t, but he killed everyone anyway. Because of the long life spans, the population had to be huge. It’s hard to imagine that things were that much worse back then than in the Holocaust or today. Jesus said in Matthew 24 that the last days will be like the days of Noah. We certainly have violence, evil hearts, a growing population, and an obsession with immoral sex, but we’ve always had these things in the world. What is God’s breaking point? How bad do things have to get? And what did the flood fix for an omnipotent God who knew we’d just come back, hearts blacker than ever?

My running theory for a long time was that humans were so evil that they were going to pass this more potent kind of evil to their offspring. It was set in their DNA and God had to cut it off. I got this theory not from Christianity but from Eastern and New Age spirituality. Some of these people assert that spiritual maladies and emotional patterns are passed on through generations. It seems this was the right direction in which to head, although there are other theories. I knew about the Nephilim and the flood, but I didn't connect one as the reason for the other until recently.

In Genesis 6, we hear about the Nephilim, who are described as offspring of the “sons of God” and the daughters of humans. This describes unions between human women and supernatural creatures, such as demon-possessed men, angels, or fallen angels. What’s my evidence for that? Well, the phrase “sons of God” is used three times in Job to clearly refer to angels. There are also indicators of this theory in Jude 6.

The apocrypha also asserts that they were angels. The apocrypha in Christianity means Christian text that are not canonical. The book of Enoch, an ancient Jewish writing that qualifies as apocrypha, details the lust of the angels. While this book is not part of the Bible and I don’t often work with apocrypha, it is not outlandish to think that there is some truth somewhere in these books, especially when it doesn’t contradict the Bible and what we know for sure.

Enoch says that these unions led to the birth of giants. The Nephilim sound awesome from Genesis 6. They sound like big, strong, famous, superheroes. We get no further details in typical, frustrating Biblical fashion. What does this have to do with the flood? This angelic sexytime was one of Satan’s tactics to thwart the birth of the Messiah.  The angels corrupted the bodies of women, and the Messiah was to come from a woman so that he would not get the sin curse passed by the man (Genesis 3:15).

This is the best reason I’ve heard for God having to start over. All of the women had their bodies and souls touched by demonic supernatural forces, and a sinless Jesus could not come from these lines. Also, the human race would be even more corrupt than they already were by the fall. The population became so polluted that God quarantined some pure people on an ark and eradicated the virus. Otherwise, why were these details included at the beginning of the flood story? It makes sense that these details were the reason for the flood story. This has completely ruined the movie “Meet Joe Black” for me.

God saw that all the “thoughts of the human heart” were only evil, all the time. That’s right, your heart has thoughts. Also, people were getting too violent. Fight clubs were springing up everywhere! God decides to leave a remnant (as usual): Noah.

The KJV describes Noah as “a just man and perfect in his generations” who walked with God. “Perfect in his generations.” Meaning that he didn’t have the spiritual virus that was being passed around? Noah’s daughters sound like a nightmare, but his sons were probably pure of seed, or whatever. In the New Testament, Noah was described as a “preacher of righteousness.” Apparently, he garnered no converts.

God clued Noah in, made a covenant with him, and gave him specific instructions for ark building. God’s measurements made the ark about half the size of the Titanic (a little bigger than that, actually). Noah did everything God said to do, despite not ever seeing rain. 

There is some debate over whether Noah got every type of animal or every species of animal. Either way, there was more than enough room for plenty of animals. I’ve heard it said that the ark could have carried roughly 136,000 sheep in half of it. Scientists admit that they don’t know how many animal species there are today, let alone how many animal species there were at the time of the flood. Time makes more as animals breed. Noah probably didn’t get every type of animal, but he got enough that we have animals. This isn’t the part of the story to nitpick.

 Ancient writers independent of the Bible confirm the story of the ark, and there are flood myths in other countries. There have been more modern claims by people who say they found it or saw its remains. You can look those up yourself and evaluate their authenticity, if you question them. I don’t much care. I’m more into questioning the philosophical/ethical/day-to-day parts of world religions, not the scientific parts. There are still miracles and mysteries.