What it feels like for a Christian, part 3: Relationship aspect

New rules for this blog:
1) New post every Tuesday, so people aren't needlessly returning on, like, Fridays.
2) Shorter posts (this is 900-ish)
I’ve given myself a word count limit of 1,000. Compare to last post’s 2,400.

3) I've heard people saying, "Oh, I have to catch up." You really don't. Just jump in whenever. There's not a cohesive narrative or something going on here.

The third thing about the Christian experience is the actual relationship with God. I was talking with an atheist friend and she was criticizing Christians for being too into the rules, doctrine, and legalism. She said, “I thought the point of that religion was that you actually got to have a relationship with God, personally.” Christians have been saying, “It’s not a religion; it’s a relationship” for roughly the past ten years. I agree, and I’m glad it’s become such a popular notion that atheists are cottoning on. We are children of God. His heirs and delights. People who have children will be able to glimpse the practical significance of that. So will people with good parents. Parents who will drop everything and rush to your aid when you call, even when you are grown. My mom once brought me Thanksgiving dinner when I couldn’t come home for a break and ate with me, even though she could only stay a few hours. My dad drove three hours to replace a dead battery in my car, because I was too stressed with exams to figure out how to get one myself. Good parents.

Like any relationship, you argue, you will disagree occasionally, things will get dry, things will get distant, things will get exciting, there’s friendship, there’s love, there’s anger, and there’s comfort. That why I always give the Bible the benefit of my anger/doubt. If God is a real being with a personality, occasionally he is going to disagree with me. So when the Bible contradicts my values and worldview, I can’t just say, “Oh, that isn’t supposed to be in there.” I have to understand the context, history, and literal meaning. And pray about it. You can’t just write off everything you don’t like, because it might be God getting trying to get his point across. You have to listen.

Any relationship is nurtured by spending time with the person. I have to admit, I am really bad at this. I’m a bad friend to God. It’s always on my terms, when I have time, when I miss God, or when I feel like it. I guess it’s better than no relationship at all, but I need to spend more time in prayer. I love the studying and thinking element, but when it comes to the real relationship, I get bored quicker. I’m really bad at this. People have joked that the conversation is one-sided, and I totally agree. Others have said that God is in the silence or that you have to keep your eyes and ears open, or trust your gut. Some say it all comes through suffering or life experience. Others say that God talks to you through creation or meditation, and some say that it is exclusively through the Bible. Wherever it is, I want more. Some say loving and serving others helps. What was it Victor Hugo said? “To love another person is to see the face of God.” I need to get better at that too. My mind is saturated with this stuff, but is my heart? Does anyone have any ideas?

What I love about the relationship bit is the honesty it demands. When you are praying and you try to pray for the “right” things or with the right intentions, about two minutes in, you think, “Oh, who am I fooling?” It’s God. When you act all holy, he’s totally rolling his eyes. Then you get honest. It’s like therapy. And the more you talk to God, the more you think about him, and then, ten minutes later, you start praying for the right things for genuine reasons. But, before that, you get to admit that you are weak. That you are frustrated. You rarely get to do that in this world. People spend a lot of time talking about rewards in heaven and what we will do there. The best part will undoubtedly be a closer relationship with God. Many people have said if God wasn’t there (in Heaven), they wouldn’t want any part of it. It wouldn’t be enough to make up for all the BS people go through here. I agree.

Atheists, when you bash God in a way that isn’t even humorous or call him a jerk or whatever, be careful of the Christians around you. Maybe they won’t get visibly offended or they will laugh at your joke to keep the peace. Maybe they make jokes about God themselves. But there is a line you cross where you can actually hurt their feelings. When someone bashes your loved one, who they don’t understand, it hurts your feelings, especially if you know that there is not time or way to defend the loved one. You may think you are just stating a hard, cold truth. Remember there is a relationship there, whether imagined or not, and be gentle. For some, God is their closest friend. If I were to give it all up, I'd miss him. Thanks for reading, ya'll. You're pretty good with the comments too!

What it feels like for a Christian, part 2: The Intellectual Life

Do you cruise or engage? I tried to make it clear in the last post that what you PUT into faith is what you GET out of it. This shouldn’t come as a surprise, since everything else in life is this way. If you invest time, your faith will have an effect on your daily life, and that will be a sign that you are making faith a priority. However, “faith having an effect on your life” should not be the goal. Many writers warn against making faith the means and an improved life the goal. If you are only paying attention to God to become a better person, feel safer, get a better social life, get rich, get wisdom, have a good marriage, further your career, or have raise moral kids, not only will you not get God, you probably won’t get that stuff either. Even if you do, it’s like snow skiing in the ditch outside the front of your house, rather than skiing in Vale or Breckenridge. You still have faith/you're still a Christian if you don't put in the effort, because it's all about grace. But you're missing out.

The gospel meets your mind where it is. One great thing about faith is the personal intellectual opportunities it provides. There are few (if any) other things that can challenge the greatest minds around and also meet Forrest Gump’s intellectual and emotional needs. For some reason, the Gospel can be simple enough for a child to understand, but vast, powerful, and consequential enough to make an impact on a genius. The intellectual issues and significant. I get more challenges from studying the Bible and faith-related things than I do anywhere else. After you have a familiarity with faith, you can start looking at the world through that lens, and that provides an additional challenge/opportunity.

Faith Glasses: I see the following C.S. Lewis quote more than most other Lewis quotes: “I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” The reason this quote is used so often is that it rings true for Christians on a deep level. This is what happens: You know certain things are true and that they exist. You accept these things and arrange your life around them. Examples include: Love, morality, human behavior, darkness/evil, the ego, existential angst, pleasure, wisdom, storytelling, and compassion. Christianity provides a complex “why” for these things that exist, and suggestions on what to do with them. The longer you think about the world through the “Christian paradigm,” the more you see the world and faith go together. They explain each other, and they provide solid, concrete reasons for paying attention to the things that you pay attention to anyway. Hopefully, in later posts, I will be able to provide detailed examples of the way the world and “Faith Glasses” mesh.

Two types of Christian thinkers, and two sub-types: There are two types of Intellectual Christians that I've come across: Educated and uneducated. Then there are two types in each of those types: security-based thinkers and exploration-based thinkers.

Let’s start with educated Christians. These are Christians who have actually read the Bible. Google informs me that Christians who have read every word of the Bible make up 10-20% of Christians, which is just pathetic. Come on, guys. You can get it on tape! Educated Christians study the Bible, are familiar with it, and are able to apply specific things from it to their daily life and their thoughts. They have a reason for what they believe and their mind is on the specifics of their faith at all times. Not only that, they have gone deeper into spiritual issues.

Uneducated Christians are still Christians, but they are at a disadvantage. If you don’t know the material and engage with your faith, how do you expect it to sink in? These Christians operate at a more shallow level and miss out on the intellectual and philosophical depth to be had. They ignore their faith and study other, more present and temporary things. They are preoccupied with distractions, for now. It shows. It shows to atheists when these Christians give a cliché, trite answer to a question the atheist has really struggled with, because that Christian can’t pull wisdom from scripture. It shows in their actions. I know the people reading this are thinking of a few people who are like this. Because it shows. Your faith really isn’t that important to you, because you don’t spend time learning about it, and lots of people can tell. If you are this person, at least try to refrain from judging others and holding them to your standards, because you don’t have a full understanding of your standards, the reasons behind them, and how someone can actually live by them beyond employing sheer will alone. Focus on giving lots of grace and serving others, if you can.

Security-based thinkers- Both educated and uneducated Christians (and people at large) can be security-based thinkers. These Christians, when faced with a question, immediately look for the answer that fits the beliefs they have had for years. Then they find that answer, and the issue is closed. They rarely seek out questions themselves. They want an answer to everything, and they don’t want to stir the pot. These people often have gurus or similar authority figures whose word is law. If they come across a grey-area theory, they run this theory by their authority figure or church denomination, and what that person says is the way it is, end of discussion.

This is common, and just fine, among young Christians, teens, and children. Young Christians and young people need a foundation on which to build. I remember loving apologetics books, because they posed the questions and then gave me a list of answers that I could use to bolster my faith. I think these are great, but I think most Christians grow out of them, at some point, because they aren't necessary anymore. The Gospel is powerful enough to drive a point home without statistics. The existence of God becomes evident enough in your daily life.

For adults and people who have been Christians for more than 15 years, I’m not a huge fan of people staying solely security-based thinkers. It just isn’t any fun, and coming to your own conclusion, over time, makes that conclusion stronger and more meaningful to you anyway. Also, it’s harder to be wrong when you fully explore different viewpoints. It’s also harder to be judgmental of others for disagreeing, because you honestly understand their point of view. Also, security-based Christians have to be right about every piece of the puzzle and they also have to have every piece, or their whole faith tends to fall apart.

Exploration-based thinkers- These thinkers can pilfer concepts from other religions and cultures when they see that these concepts are objectively true and useful. I got scolded by another Christian once for taking a Buddhism class. When I asked why he was against it, even though I had a firm Biblical foundation, he said, "If you don't know why it's wrong, I can't even begin to make it clear to you." Helpful chap. Instead of freaking out and thinking, "Everything in Islam is incorrect BECAUSE IT'S ISLAM," Christians can appreciate Muslim teachings that don't contradict what Christians already know to be true. Christians can take scientific concepts and theories and the science can coincide with faith, and they can compliment each other. As I commented on a relative's blog recently, "I think everything in the Bible is true, but not everything that's true is in the Bible."

Exploration-based thinkers don't have whole boxes of thought and categories of people labeled "good" and "bad." The most convincing lies in life are wrapped in truthful statements. Separating what makes sense from what doesn't on a detailed level is a skill that helps with life. If you just reject a whole category and accept a whole category (all Republican things bad, all Democrat things good, for example), lots of truth gets lost and lots of little lies seep in. Islam and Hinduism are the two religions I really just don't get. The others make at least half a lick of sense to me. But I know that those two religions that I don't like have things that I would agree with, if I looked at them closely. Which I haven't, I'll admit. Rob Bell brought this up in one of his less controversial books (it was still controversial, haha). He asserted that all truth is from God and that Christians should claim truth wherever they find it, because it is theirs. That thought stuck with me. If you are going to go to college, study other belief systems, and associate with smart people who are not Christians, you are going to need this concept, or you are going to become confused.

I once lent a book to a Christian friend. It was Christian nonfiction and it had about 12 chapters. In one of the chapters, the author brought up a viewpoint that is unpopular among mainstream Christians. The rest of the book was totally helpful, sweet, deep, and Biblical. However, that Christian unfortunately zoomed in on the 10 pages she found objectionable. Rather than just disagree with that one part, she decided that this book wasn't something that I, my friends, her friends, or she should be reading. She mentally discarded the entire thing, which to me was excessive.

Christians are going to disagree. Rather than splitting up into 500 denominations based on different interpretations, can't we discuss and then let people disagree with us? Can we only worship with people who only baptize adults and not babies? Are they not Christians? The fact that we have so many denominations answers this question, and it's sad. Some disagreements are "material" and should create different denominations. Most are not material, I think. For everything a fellow Christian has wrong, in your view, they have 100 things you would agree with and about 20 things you can learn from them that you will accept as true. Exploration-based thinkers can benefit from worshiping and thinking with these people.

C.S. Lewis (again, I know) told a story about three friends. Friend #1 died, and Friend #2 thought, "Well, at least I will have more time with Friend #3 all to myself and I will get to know him better." To his sadness, Friend #2 discovered that there were certain parts of Friend #3 that only Friend #1's mind and personality brought out. Because God is a personality, this is true of him as well. It's beneficial to have as many people as possible sharing with you what they are learning about God. Lewis points out that it is much better to have all types of Christians, because then you have a full range of perspectives, observations, and modes of worship. You weaken the intellectual part of your spiritual life when you surround yourself by Christians who agree on absolutely everything.

The exploration-based thinkers aren’t afraid to spend time on a difficult or scary concept. Aristotle said, “It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” It makes sense that since we are trying to decipher another dimension and know God, there are things that will be beyond our theology, concrete answers, and simple explanations. The Bible is full of people questioning God to his face, and God seems to like it. God engages with and uses these people. This type is honest and unafraid to say, "I don't know the answer to that yet." At the end of the day, their faith can be just as strong as anyone else's, but fearless and more applicable to specific life situations and other cultures.

Here's a C.S. Lewis quote (this blog is turning into C.S. Lewis bonanza, seriously.) discussing the Trinity and Christianity- “As you advance to more real and more complicated levels, you don't leave behind the things you found on simpler levels; you still have them, but combined in new ways—in ways you couldn't imagine if you knew only the simpler levels…On the Divine level, you still find personalities; but up there you find them combined in new ways which we, who do not live on that level, cannot imagine. In God’s dimension, so to speak, you find a being who is three Persons while remaining one Being…Of course we cannot fully conceive a Being like that: just as, if we were so made that we perceived only two dimensions in space we could never properly imagine a cube.” You see him pointing out that there are 1) levels of truth and 2) things of which we cannot conceive. This means there is plenty of room for theorizing, guesswork, experimentation, and other fun things. Don’t be afraid to go there.

Now, uneducated, exploration-based thinkers may fall right out of the box they are trying to think outside of. They have all the love of exploration without a solid foundation. This is to be avoided. Uneducated, security-based thinkers can get annoying, fast. They have all the surety of someone who knows everything and none of the knowledge or intellectual experience. At least with educated, security-based thinkers, you will have someone who can back up their thought. I don't know which category that people whose faith requires them to accept everything their church accepts (like with strict, traditional Catholics and Mormons) fit into. Likely, it's a mix of both exploration and security (the security part being the parts that their churches have explicitly rule on). Most Christians are probably a mix, depending on what topic is on the table. I'm a mix, for sure.

One thing that is lame about Christian thought: Exploration-based thinkers may have opinions or questions they are literally afraid to bring up, because the security-based thinkers will decide that they are wishy-washy, don’t take the Bible seriously, are “liberal,” or are not even Christians. I know I have a few subjects I don’t bring up in “Christian circles.” Heck, I’m even debating whether to bring them up here on my blog or keep them in my private mind. Whatever. I do what I want. So don't crucify me when I do bring them up.

Are there any issues you guys are afraid to bring up, hypotheses that you don’t bring up in Bible study, or things you just don’t say, because you want to avoid an uncomfortable argument or influential, traditional people of faith deciding you are stupid?

Next time, I will try not to quote Lewis at all. We'll see if it can be done. I've just read all of his stuff, so it's firmly ensconced in my head.

What it feels like for a Christian, part 1: Today was Christmas morning :-)

Intro to the series: These posts won’t be this long every time, I promise, but this topic is important to me. I actually edited it down by like 300 words, so this is the bare bones. I am curious to see if others have this experience as well. I’m starting a “series” where I try to talk about what it’s like to have faith, day-to-day, so that non-religious people can at least understand why I'm so obsessed. I know the series title brings to mind a certain Madonna song, and I'm ok with that, haha.

Supposedly, I’m fighting a losing battle trying to explain what it’s like to be a Christian. The Bible says, “For the word of the cross to those indeed perishing is foolishness, and to us -- those being saved -- it is the power of God.” What does it mean to be perishing? It’s not as offensive to atheists as you might think from first glance (although I’ll admit, it’s not exactly chicken soup for their souls). They should agree that they are currently perishing. Their bodies are breaking down and headed toward death. Christians don’t believe death permanently applies. This verse is so right-on, and Christians will know exactly how right-on it is, because many of them have been on both sides of the belief line.

According to the verse, when you haven’t fully grasped the gospel and its implications, the gospel seems silly and simplistic to people who don’t believe it and haven’t been dwelling on it. The gospel is like one of those pictures where they ask you what the picture is of, and you end up realizing pretty quickly that it’s a picture of more than one thing. In the first instant, though, it seems simple because you only see one thing. Spirituality is like that, only it has about a million pictures that you see over the course of a long time, they are cool, they are challenging, and you actually care. Dwell on it with me for a few days, and we'll see if we can pick out some of the "pictures" in the Christian life. Unfortunately, this first topic is one of those things that is really hard to explain. People who have been through this experience will get it and be nodding. People who haven't will be all, "How does this happen, exactly? What?!!"

Christianity as a crutch: I've heard some atheists say that Christianity is a crutch for people who can’t handle the fear of death or the loss of loved ones. And like heroes, walking against the wind, armed with only truth, rationality, and great personal ability, the atheist courageously traverses the world, finding meaning without hope of an afterlife, in the face of death itself. The reason I have a problem with this is isn't the inherent arrogance, because I'm plenty arrogant myself and shouldn't throw too many stones. It's that this implies that the only reason I follow Christianity is because I get the reward of heaven and don’t have to fear death. While those things are dandy, there really is more to it. I’ve heard Christians admit that they actually do fear death. Fear is related to the unknown, and there is still a lot about the actual death experience that Christians don’t know, like how much it will hurt. There is also the survival instinct that is hardwired into everyone. Sure, the intellectual and emotional assurance that it’s going to eventually be ok is helpful, but it doesn’t kill fear off completely.

As for the courageous atheist, they just do exactly what plenty of Christians also do: they don’t think about death. I’m 24 and in good health. I’m not brave in the face of death mostly because of some great, enormous faith I have. I’m unafraid of death because I’m 24 and in good health. Unless you are terminally ill or facing down the barrel of a gun, all people can find plenty of distraction from the reality that this life is but a blink. Movies, TV, friends, drink, sex (what some have called “the ultimate life-affirming action), love, exercise, makeup, buying things and storing them in your house to give you a sense of control, travel, unceasing work, and much more. If you say that I’m weaker than you and I need a crutch, I will reply that we all have crutches. But I can think about my crutch (God) and death at the same time. I don’t need God to face death nearly as much as I need him to face what I'm about to discuss.

Bah Humbug: When I was around 10 years old, December 25th rolled around and I went to my grandparents’ house where the whole family was gathered, ate my food, overturned my stocking, and ripped through all my presents. The presents were great, but something was different. It must have shown on my face, because my grandpa leaned over to me so that all the younger kids couldn’t hear him and said, “It’s not as fun now that you’re older is it? The magic is gone.” Then he nodded the nod of a man who knows what it’s like to grow up and have the world lose its wonder. The nod said that he and I were in on this secret, and the younger kids were still blissfully unaware that anything so horrible would ever happen to them. It was December 25th, but I felt the same as if it were any other day. It wasn't Christmas; I just had more stuff.

The lack of wonder in the world: Ravi Zacharias is a little too much of an apologist for me. I enjoy studying the Bible, not listening to 100 arguments on how I can prove to some atheist (who is not listening and doesn’t think I respect him as a person) that the Bible is true. But one day, Ravi said that “wonder” is one of the things people need to have in order to have meaning in life. That stuck with me. Because life can get stale, tiring, monotonous, stressful, and soul-deadening. We’ve gotten jaded. We’ve gotten numb. It’s hard to transcend. Lots of people need to drink to have fun. I went skydiving, and while it was fun, even mid-fall, I thought, “I’m actually 19% bored by this.”

We crave wonder and something in the world that will blow us away completely. But even when we get a great experience, it’s not satisfying in the way we want it to be. There’s still something missing and we feel that little craving like an echo. With every great experience, there’s a little sadness that it wasn’t enough to not disappoint us a little. When we get what we wanted, we are left with more wanting and we seek out the next thing. It’s a pretty crazy hamster wheel that lasts your whole life.

C.S. Lewis talks about this really well. He says, “The longings which arise in us when we first fall in love, or first think of some foreign country, or first take up some subject that really excites us, are longings which no marriage, no travel, no learning, can really satisfy. I am not now speaking of that which would be ordinarily called unsuccessful marriages, or holidays, or learned careers. I am speaking of the best possible ones. There was something we grasped, at that first moment of longing, which just fades away in the reality.” It’s like when you have a really interesting dream, but the details are fuzzy. When you wake up, you are so disappointed not to be able to explore the dream further. Your mind grasps for the details of the dream, but they fade within seconds.

The afterlife starts now: I’ve heard it suggested that this longing is “the collective memory of Eden” that is deep within us. C.S. Lewis also said that if he feels hunger, that doesn’t prove that he will get food, but surely it proves that there is such a thing as food. A very famous quote by Lewis is, “If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.” That seems to suggest that we will experience the wonder and excitement we seek someday, after we die. But, as pastors are recently starting to point out with more frequency, the spiritual world isn’t only some far off land that we will get to after death. We have access to it right now.

You just have to dwell on it and seek it out. Quantity time breeds quality time. You can’t come to a person once every year, spend an hour with them, and expect to have a deep, fulfilling conversation where you both really connect. You have to invest in the person and the best moments come up sometimes when you least expect them. It’s the same with a relationship with God. I’m not one of those who wants to guilt people into not having a scheduled quiet time every morning at 5 a.m., but I do know the importance of finding a way to make God a part of your everyday life. People today compartmentalize too much, but you can’t compartmentalize this and have it open up the world beneath the physical world in a way that you interact with both worlds on a daily basis. Spirituality isn’t just for church on Sunday. It’s for work, school, family time, friend time, thought time, entertainment time, exercise time, hard times, good times, driving time, and every time in between. You have to practice seeing God everywhere, in everything you do, and in everyone you meet until you do it unconsciously. You have to listen to other people point out where and how they see God. You have to seek to find. You really do have to believe to see.

Living in two worlds at one time: In his amazing new song “Afterlife,” Switchfoot lead singer Jon Foreman says, “I’ve tasted fire. I’m ready to come alive…I’m ready now. I’m not waiting for the afterlife…Why would I wait ‘til I die…?... I still believe we can live forever. You and I, we begin forever now.” The breath of life is in everyone you meet, every day. Creation proclaims God. People love deeply. Christians have the Holy Spirit with them. The world we long for is here if you look for it, and it’s going to come in full force someday. In the day-to-day, the Christian life adds another layer to everything. Everything you do affects two worlds, the spiritual realm and the physical. If you do someone a favor, you affect their spiritual health as well as their physical lives. When you go to work and do a good job, there’s a spiritual satisfaction in that as well as physical gain. Everything is doubly important.

Also, everything you do matters forever. When parents invest love and effort into bringing up a child, if those parents believe that their child is forever, I think that’s going to affect their parenting. Lots of people in high school would tell me, “I don’t care about these people. I’m going to be gone to college in a year, so why would I put effort into befriending people I’ll never see again?” Because they are permanent and the way you treat them affects whether you are going to bring heaven to earth today, point it out, pull it here, and make the spiritual world as it should be start now. This is a concept Rob Bell, a Jewish teacher I know, and Tim Keller talk about. They say that you choose whether to be part of bringing heaven or hell to earth with your actions. Are you helping heaven get a head start? Because it's coming eventually, and you will be continuing that work in the next world. That waitress you were rude or good to? She could remember that moment for the rest of her life in the physical world. And it makes a mark elsewhere as well.

The two world thing provides wonder too. The spiritual world is one that starts now, that is here with us now, that we don’t fully get to see. There is infinite mystery there. The other world probably has different rules (will there be gravity and time?), different beings, and…colors we’ve never seen, even. Most importantly, we will get to see God, and he’s one remarkable dude. When you have the spiritual world in mind and you notice the things in this world that will still exist in that one, everything in this world becomes more interesting. Your priorities change. Every experience is heightened because it’s connected with your spirituality. Boredom is rare. The more you see it, the more you understand it, and the more you fall in love with the world and everything in it.

While you are experiencing and fully noticing the little tastes of the world that is to come, you realize that it’s there that you will find that wonder that will blow you away. The thing that will take you to your knees and overwhelm every sense you have is coming. It’s like going from the Dursley’s to Hogwarts. You live hearing these rumors of that place, and you get glimpses of it that are so powerful that it is literally more satisfying than food or a long vacation to just have that 30-second glimpse. I’ve experienced this, and it’s hard to talk about it without sounding crazy, but they are exactly the best moments of my life. These experiences are possible every day and they come at exactly no cost. You just have to take yourself there by constantly opening your eyes to it until it is so natural that you can’t NOT think about God about every ten minutes. People urge me to give up my crutch.

But try giving THAT up.

In the gap between two worlds, "dying": I believe that the glimpses will eventually become constant, permanently visible reality in the next world, where everything that is just wrong and disappointing and shouldn’t be here will be wiped out. I briefly volunteered at Hospice, where terminally ill patients go to die. I only did it for around six months, because watching dying people sleep isn’t as thrilling as it sounds, and I realized my talents lie elsewhere. I’m better at being aggressive/fighting for things like justice than giving hugs/being warm and fuzzy. But while I was there, I saw people who were hours from death and I talked to workers who had seen it hundreds of times. Even if the brain was unaffected by disease, there is a period where the body of the person is still there, but the mind starts to go.

This period occurs mere hours or minutes before death, and some people say it’s just the mind shutting down or something and making people see crazy things. The people start to experience a different reality, and if they can talk, they talk about what they see (sometimes less coherently than you would hope). One woman pointed out to a worker that she saw her loved one standing in the room. The dying exclaim in excitement as they are being extracted from their dying bodies. Steve Jobs’ last words as revealed by his sister were, “Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow, oh wow….” Don’t fear death. Fear a life that doesn't make you feel that level of "wow" every once-in-a-while.

Yep, this is happening.

Why I started this blog: I’ve been writing about TV for a while on a blog. It’s pretty fun, but it’s not what I’m most interested in. That blog gets about 400 views a day. Sometimes 300, and sometimes 600. It really depends on whether Charice is on Glee or not. Readers from the Philippines love her. The best reason to write about TV is that you still get to write and share opinions, but you never get into any trouble for that. I don’t like getting in trouble or having people misunderstand what I’m saying. It’s easy not to mess TV up, and it’s not a personal thing. You don’t have to let people see even a sliver of your heart unless you want to.

So I stayed away from any spiritual topic on the internet, because I didn’t want to open myself up to a world of aggravation. However, this topic is what I think about whenever I’m not watching TV. Last night, I thought to myself, “Whatever. I do what I want!” and created this blog. I don’t expect it to be nearly as popular as my other one. I don’t expect everyone to always agree with me or even understand. I don’t have a lot of experience writing about spirituality, so I’ll probably be pretty terrible at it for a while. Hopefully it gets better. Hopefully someone reads and discusses things with me and tries to answer my questions. If not, well, at least it will help to organize my thoughts on the matter.

Some notes to the readers, people I know and invited because I dig your God thoughts, and people who randomly found this googling “Charice + Glee”: If you are an agnostic or an atheist, you might not be interested and reading this blog, but you shouldn’t feel like you can’t. For some strange reason, more than half of my friends are agnostic. The rest are Jewish, haha. I want this to be a safe place where non-believers can go to just understand what it’s like to have faith or give their opinions. I’m not going to be threatening you will hell or getting super argumentative. I don’t even think those are possible ways to convert someone. This isn't a conversion tool, because that would kill it. People can smell an agenda a mile a way. This is also not a political blog. Come 2012, I’m not gonna tell you who I think you should vote for (on this blog anyway). I know non-Christians in both political major parties and Christians in both major political parties.

I love my agnostic/atheist friends, and I always remember that God loves them way more than I do, so I’m not afraid for them. Part of trusting God means that I know he’s got this. Also, oftentimes, atheists have a point. If an atheist never reads this blog, who is going to call me out if I start sounding like Pat Robertson? Talking about your spiritual beliefs is a lot like having a favorite movie that you think everyone should see. You want them to see the movie, if they are interested, because you know you enjoyed it. The real reason to love God is…because you love God. Not because you are afraid of hell. You talk about what you love and are interested in, because you can't help it, not because you are trying to rack up a certain quota of converts or something. I don’t want to get caught up in rules, semantics, clichés or legalism either. People of other religions: Eventually I am going to write about your religions. If you stick around, you’ll be able to tell me when I’ve got it totally wrong.

Fellow Christians should note that they will disagree with me sometimes too. I once had a friendly acquaintance who wanted to live with a Christian, because she thought that would make for a compatible roommate. I agreed and we moved in together, with two other people. To our shock, we spent a lot of time fighting. We hurt each other’s feelings. We had theological disagreements. And we were raised in the same denomination. We’re cool now, we love each other, and it was a good experience for us. I invited her to check out the blog, and I hope she stops by every once-in-a-while. One of our other roommates remarked, “You two believe the same things for completely different reasons.” I’m not going to TRY to stir up controversy, but occasionally I will bring up unpopular or minority viewpoints on a matter, for funsies. This is only going to be like 5% of the time. But when it happens, don’t freak out!!!! It is entirely possible and often beneficial to entertain a thought or belief for a few days or hours, and then go right back to what you believed before. Usually when this happens, your original viewpoint is even strengthened. Discuss everything, and eventually truth will win out. That’s the “marketplace of ideas” theory.

Still here? Good. Then this is going to be fun. I'll be posting every couple of days, whether someone reads it or not. The key to getting a blog going is to blog a lot for a while, even if it seems pointless. The more content you have, the more chance people googling will get there. I'm going to be quoting good people, asking questions, posting good sermons by other people, posting good spiritual tunes, and posting jokes/fun stuff too (my humor is less "family circus" and more cracked.com). I know from experience with my other blog that people are shy about comments at first, but the comments are our friends. I want dialogue.