Thank God, it's all about to come out

Genesis 42- Lots of people have secrets. Lots of people feel that reputation is everything, so every time there is a fight, a difficulty, or a mistake, they put a lot of effort into covering it up or at least making sure it's never talked about. Yet it's always there. Leaving it as the elephant in the room or the thing you can't tell that one person doesn't make it less there. It still affects people. It affects how you think about yourself and how you relate to others. Most of all, it creates distance from the person with the smudgy spot on their soul and all of his or her loved ones. You know what I'm talking about. If you're human, you have some experience with this. If it's not you, you know people with taboo subjects. If you mention one word, disease, act, city, or topic, they tense up, so you don't mention it.

But it's you too. Come one. Everyone has an incident they regret that they are trying to distance themselves from. Time will do it, to a degree, but in this age of the internet, nothing is permanently forgotten if it's big enough. People have long lives and long memories. That's why I feel really bad for Joseph's brothers who have carried the secret of what happened to their brother for two decades. The secret makes the guilt even worse, and the guilt by itself with be considerable. You always hear, "The truth will out." And it will. Everything that's hidden will come into the light, eventually. Because God is that good.

The famine affects Joseph's family in Canaan. They all hear that there is food in Egypt, and Jacob says to his sons, "Why do you look at one another?" At first, I thought this was a "What are you standing around for?" statement, because the men should be heading down to get food. But the phrase in the Bible literally means "to look questioningly at each other." (Yeah, I looked it up.) They are looking at each other because any mention of Egypt brought Joseph to his brothers' minds, since they sold him to Egyptians. They would look at each other like, "Oh, Egypt. I wonder if Joseph s still alive." Egypt is a taboo topic. It brings The Incident quickly to mind. It's the stain on their lives. The thing that makes their hearts jump up to their throats.

Jacob continues, "I've heard Egypt has food. Go buy some, so we don't die."Jacob was always kind of a bad father, with favorite sons and everything. Now, he's also depressed! Yeah, he's all bitter and negative. He's faced hardship and loss. He lost his favorite wife and his favorite son, and now there is a famine. Jacob is careful to keep his other favorite son, Benjamin, from going on the errand. Benjamin had the same mother as Joseph, Rachel, the wife Jacob loved (as opposed to that cross-eyed other one). All of Joseph's brothers except for Benjamin leave for Egypt.

Joseph is in charge of selling the grain. When his brothers see Joseph, the don't recognize him. They bow down with their faces to the ground, fulfilling Joseph's pesky dreams from 20 years ago. Joseph recognizes them (they are, after all, all together and easier to recognize). Joseph decides to do something that, on first read, seems a little crazy, random, and cruel. It seems like he's playing games to see his brothers' reactions or to test them to see if they have matured. I've heard people say that God was guiding Joseph in order to make sure that the brothers got he proper correction and spiritual healing. That was certainly the result. It makes sense. Anybody else have other thoughts?

Joseph speaks harshly to them and says, "You are spies coming to see where our land is unprotected!" They deny it, claiming to be a simple family with a youngest brother back home. Joseph decides to put them in prison for three days (probably to get them to agree to his terms) and then to test them by saying, "You have to bring your brother, Benjamin here. Then I will know if you are telling the truth." The brothers start discussing how they are probably being punished because of what they did to Joseph. Rueben throws in an "I told you so," since he wasn't onboard with the plan to destroy Joseph.

This, and the strange looks they gave each other back in Canaan shows that this has been haunting them strongly for a large portion of their lives. They must think about it a lot. They jump to it quickly when they feel God is punishing them. But God is about to free them and teach them humility and service to their family. Being outed for a past wrong may seem like the worst thing that can happen. It can feel like dying. That's because something IS dying, but it's pride and lies and other bits of you that have to go, because God's not going to leave anyone in the bondage of secrets forever.

Joseph heard all of this and pretends not to understand their language. They are using an interpreter. Joseph goes away from them and cries. He comes back, takes Simeon (as collateral), and sends the rest of them back for Benjamin, their bags filled with grain. He takes silver in exchange. On the way home, one of the brothers sees his silver in his grain sack. The brothers tremble and say, "What is this that God has done to us?" They are worried that Joseph will think they stole from Egypt.

They get back to Canaan and tell Jacob what happened. They empty their sacks and see that each man's silver was in his sack. They think they haven't paid for the grain. The are scared. Jacob says, "You've deprived me of both Joseph and Simeon, and now you want to take Benjamin. Everything is against me!" Wait a minute…did they fess up to selling Joseph? Nice. Or maybe Jacob just blames them because they went out and failed to come back with Joseph. That would make more sense with the beginning. I don't know.

Jacob refuses to let Benjamin go, even though Rueben promises to get him back and says Jacob can kill Rueben's sons if Benjamin is lost. Jacob says, "His brother is dead, and he is the only one left." REAL NICE, dude. "If harm comes to him, you will bring my gray head down to the grave in sorrow." It doesn't matter to Jacob that one of his sons would spend the rest of his life in prison in Egypt. Jacob needs the following drama to learn his own lesson.

God is going to prove that even when you think you've lost everything, you don't lose it forever. God has a bigger plan in mind. Joseph made the best out of his circumstances with as good of an attitude as he could, mentioning God every once-in-a-while and doing his best in difficult jobs. Jacob is in a "woe is me" limbo, thinking everything is against him. Of course, it's all about him in his mind. But God's working on a bigger project. It's not just about Jacob; it's about the whole family. It's about Israel, and then it's going to be about the world. It's not about how good you are looking, escaping punishment, or always living the good life. Just wait a minute. It's coming together.

Genesis is almost over. Wheeeeeee.

Genesis 40-41: Joseph meets a cupbearer and baker who offended Pharoah, the king of Egypt, and were thrown into prison too. They each had a dream on the same night told Joseph about those dreams. Joseph interpreted the cupbearer’s dream to mean that the cupbearer would be restored to his position in three days. Joseph asked the cupbearer to put in a good word for him to the king. The baker’s dream wasn’t as good, but Joseph was bold and honest enough to give a true interpretation, rather than comfort the baker and offer him false hope. Joseph said that in three days, the baker would be beheaded by Pharoah. Joseph obviously didn’t ask this guy to help him get out of prison.

All of this happened as Joseph said, but the cupbearer forgot Joseph for two full years. This probably seemed like a real bummer to Joseph, but it turned out to be God’s perfect timing. The cupbearer remembered to mention Joseph after Pharaoh had two dreams that all his wise men and magicians couldn’t interpret. Pharaoh summoned Joseph after hearing the cupbearer’s story about him. Joseph said he couldn’t interpret the dreams, but God could. Joseph is going to give a right answer, but he’s not going to take the credit for it. Years ago, Joseph sought to lift himself up by telling his brothers about his dreams where he was glorified. He remembered that fall, and he’s not going through that again.

After hearing the dreams, Joseph told Pharaoh that God was revealing that there would be seven years of abundance followed by seven years of famine, so Pharaoh would have to store up food in order to get through the coming bad times. Pharaoh recognized that Joseph had the “Spirit of God” in him. This is the first mention of the Holy Spirit in the Bible. Pharaoh made Joseph his second-in-command and put him in charge of saving 20% of everything that came in the next seven years. Pharaoh gave Joseph a ring, robes, a chariot, and a wife. Joseph had two sons, and gave them Hebrew names meaning “forgetfulness” and “fruitfulness.” This shows that he was determined to forget the pain, grudges, and cruelty in his past, because his life has moved into a phase of blessing.

During the famine, all the surrounding lands came to Egypt to buy grain from Joseph. And so everyone was saved! This seems like a complicated way to save people from famine. God was trying to speak to Pharaoh so he would act, but wouldn’t it have been easier for God to, you know, just stop the famine? There’s more to it. This whole story is also about getting the Jewish people into Egypt so that lots of other, very important things can happen to this group. Also, many have pointed out that Joseph is a lot like Jesus. I'm not going to go through all the similarities, partly because some are real stretches, but one I thought was pretty random is the how the baker and cupbearer represent bread and wine, which kind of "foreshadows" communion. Then again, it could be just a coincidence. 

On dreams: I don’t know whether God still communicates this way, or if it’s vain to make too much out of your dreams. Maybe it’s an important resource Christians haven’t been tapping. Maybe it’s best left to the more colorful, reaching religious people. Crazy or not? How do you know if a dream is from God? Surely we’re not supposed to be reaching for the Dream Interpretation Books they sell at Barnes and Noble to divine messages from God. Those are only for delving into the subconscious brain, right?

Is it only the dreams that really bother you or stay with you that you should pay attention to? I’m inclined to think most of my dreams are just silly, not messages from God, but maybe others have had different experiences. It’s something we don’t think about a lot. I think these chapters show that God CAN communicate urgent messages through dreams, but whoever interprets them must have the Holy Spirit, or there’s no chance of getting anything useful. These aren’t the sorts of things you can rely on your own power and intellect for. 

Waiting and Working

Genesis 39: I'm still waiting on my background check to come through from the Florida bar, and I'm anxious to start my career. In the meantime, I'm doing other things that I (and others) never saw myself doing. I'm letting you know this because I think it's going to influence this post. We return to Joseph, who is now a slave in Egypt. His owner is Potiphar, one of Pharoah’s officials. Potiphar was in charge of protecting the king/head of security. Because God was with Joseph, Joseph prospered. His master recognized the supernatural hand giving Joseph success, so he put Joseph in charge of everything he owned. Obviously, Joseph was a hard worker and aimed to do his best even as a slave. Because of this, God blessed the entire household.

Sometimes we have to take jobs or undertake tasks that we find beneath us. Sometimes we have to do work we’d rather not do. I think this story is a good example of how God can still bless people and give them success in these jobs. In these jobs, we can refine our character, humility, and gain a reputation for being upstanding that will follow us all of our lives. Sometimes these jobs are stepping stones to “better” or more influential work later. We don’t know the future. Joseph certainly had no real hope to advance in society as much as he does in the end (he was a slave), but it happened. 

A job is a job. Even if it’s school, we all have something we’re getting up every day to complete. Maybe we don’t want to do it forever. But it’s important to have integrity and try your best in everything you do. This isn’t for our glory, but God’s. When you do good work and you are openly Christian, it is going to reflect on your God. Everything good that happens gives glory to God. If your main goal in life is your own advancement or how you are being perceived, you’re missing the point. A Christian isn’t his own person anymore. He’s the living embodiment of Christ on Earth at this particular time. 

If you’re diligent, the Potiphars will notice, and credit will go where credit is due (to God). Of course, we can’t forget that when scripture mentions Joseph’s hard work and success, it first mentions that God was with him. In America, we are enamored with personal attributes, degrees, and will power, and we forget that without God’s power, we will always fail to achieve what someone relying on the Holy Spirit can do. You think you can achieve success at work and bring glory to God simply through your own efforts? It’s a stupid mistake to forego that help. Anyone who has read the book of Acts knows how fast God can move through regular people.

Joseph was hot, so Potiphars wife asked him to sleep with her. Joseph resisted the temptation, citing Potiphar’s trust in him and his obedience to God. Potiphar’s wife solicited him for sex daily for a long time. Joseph refused to go to bed with her or “even be with her.” This is what impresses me. It’s important to not be alone with an object of lust, especially when he or she is married. Even if you think, “It’s alright because we are just friends and neither of us would ever do anything/are thinking that,” hanging out or working one-on-one with a married person of the opposite sex is nearly always a bad idea. At the very least, it can raise eyebrows or jealousy in the spouse, which isn’t something you want to do to a person. 

One day Joseph allowed himself to be in the house alone with her (she probably sent everyone else out of the house), and she caught him by his cloak and said, “Come to bed with me!” He ran out of the house, leaving his cloak in her hand. So Joseph still has a thing for distinguishing clothes, eh? Potiphar’s wife cried rape. Joseph was thrown into prison, which was probably a mercy because an Egyptian official would surely have the power and right to put Joseph to death for this. Maybe Potiphar did this because of the good work Joseph did for him. Maybe he feared the wrath of Joseph’s God. Maybe he suspected that his wife might have been making it up. God was with Joseph in prison too, so Joseph found favor in the eyes of the prison warden. 

The warden put Joseph in charge of all the prisoners and prison operations. That’s right: Even in prison, God can bless a man, give him important work, and make him the best inmate possible. There are many prison inmates who just become animals, go with the flow of the new crowd, or see their lives as “over.” They give up. But as long as you are alive, there’s a purpose and a promise. There are people in prison (few, but some) who keep creating or adding to the world in some way, like the inmates who yell at the delinquent teens in “Beyond Scared Straight” or the inmates who write, speak, or work hard at the jobs given to them in prison. 

There’s no place or position in life where God can’t work, whether you’re trapped by walls or the physical prison of sickness. It’s not over until it’s over. There’s no place where you are “wasting time.” Not only can you do good things where you are right now, you might be in training for something else. In this part of Joseph’s story, he’s becoming competent, responsible, and able to lead a large number of people. When he becomes Pharoah’s right-hand man, he’s going to have the skills he developed while he might have thought he was in limbo, wasting time. I think this story proves that you can go from any low to any high. You can go from working at Dairy Queen to becoming President of the United States (Obama). 

I doubt there are inmates reading this blog, but if there are, you have just as much opportunity to bring glory to God than any other Christian, if not more. God delights in taking the so-called lost cases and using them. It shows off his power all the more. And that’s the point. Joseph’s success and blessings were not for Joseph. They were for God’s bigger purpose. They were to save the family so that the Jewish people could bring about Jesus. That way, Jesus could save the world, reconcile all things to God, and…bring glory to God. Even when God is loving us, He’s still the point. 

That’s why whenever I read a Bible story, I don’t look for the heroes and villains or the “moral.” I first try to ask, “What does this story tell us about God and how he operates?” This supposedly depressing chapter encourages me a lot. One of my biggest worries used to be that God could never use me because I didn't have the same talents as other women in the church. I used to be concerned that I would always be bored, waste my life, and never be challenged. In light of the big picture, this story tells us not to sweat our current circumstances in life. This story tells us that God could have a plan for life's dead periods. I don't know if anyone else has felt this way or can relate, but we all want to be part of the big adventure, right? 

Very Nice. How Much?

Genesis 38:11-30 So, Judah has left his father’s house, probably because he feels too guilty over what he did to Joseph and can’t bear to see his father grieve. He goes to foreign lands (which is something God hates for this family to do), gets a foreign wife, and raises morally defective sons. This chapter interrupts the Joseph story to give us this side story about Jesus’s direct ancestor. Something has to get Judah from a place of selling Joseph, blaming everyone but himself, and running from his mistakes to a place where he would sacrifice himself for Benjamin’s freedom and his family’s well-being.

After his older two sons were struck down by God, Judah blames Tamar. He doesn’t want to give her to his last son, Shelah, because Judah figures the marriage would kill him too. The trouble is, he owes Shelah to Tamar. He blames the girl rather than himself for raising wicked sons. Maybe he thinks Tamar is so wicked or cursed that God will not allow her to be happily married. 

Judah says to Tamar, “Live as a widow in your father’s household until Shelah grows up.” So Tamar does. But Judah never calls her. Shelah grows up. Judah never releases Tamar from her obligation to his family. Maybe he sees this as a fair punishment. She’s under his authority, and she can’t go marry someone else. She is childless, has no purpose, and is put on hold. It’s an injustice.

After Judah’s wife dies, he goes up to a place called Timnah to visit the men who were shearing his sheep. He takes his friend Hirah with him. Tamar takes off her widow’s clothes (which she had been wearing this whole time), covers herself with a veil, and sits where Judah will encounter her on his trip. When Judah sees the disguised Tamar, he thinks she is a random prostitute, because her face is hidden. I guess this wasn’t rare for hookers in the day. Maybe a lot of them were ugly, who knows? Judah's down for some sex. They agree on a young goat from his flock as the price, and Tamar takes his seal, its cord, and Judah’s staff as collateral.

They sleep together and she becomes pregnant. She puts her widow’s clothes back on and goes home. Judah sends Hirah back with the goat, but Hirah can’t find the prostitute. Hirah asks around, but the men there say, “There’s no shrine prostitute here.” Hirah tells Judah, and Judah thinks it’s best to let it go, or they would “become a laughingstock.” Yeah, way to keep the fornication on the DL, Hirah. Running around telling everyone. Sheesh. Is that the first socially limited person in the Bible? Haha. It’s probably my ancestor.

About three months later, Tamar starts showing. People go to Judah and say, “Tamar is guilty of prostitution, and now she’s pregnant.” Judah responds, “Bring her out and burn her to death.” Now, this was more painful than the regular punishment at the time (which was rolling a large stone on top of the person, crushing them instantly). This was overkill. Judah is thinking, “First, she caused my sons to die. Then she gets pregnant. She’s been nothing but trouble to me. All of this is her fault.” Tamar whips out Judah’s property, showing that she tricked him into getting what she deserved.

Judah recognized his stuff and said, “She is more righteous than I.” He gets it. He’s convicted. He did not sleep with Tamar again. There were twin boys in her womb. During labor, one boy put his hand out, and the midwife tied a scarlet thread on his wrist to mark him as firstborn. But he drew his hand back and his brother came out first. The midwife said, “So, this is how you have broken out!” She named that one Perez, and the one with the scarlet thread was named Zerah. Perez is the one who continued the Messianic lineage listed in Matthew and Luke.

This story not only serves as a wake-up call to Judah, showing that he is in need of a spiritual makeover, it shows a contrast between himself and his younger brother, Joseph. Joseph resists sexual temptation in the next chapter. Judah succumbs to it. I like that Tamar’s reaction to being charged with harlotry was to imply that the man was as guilty as she was. The Bible sticks a fork in the moral double standard here. Wherever that double standard came from or however natural and universal it is, it isn’t approved by scripture, Judah, Tamar, or the Genesis writer.

There are no real heroes in this chapter. It’s important that we get that. Judah did. In this world, there are people who willingly mess up a lot. Then there are people who act more righteously than others in some situations. But, other times, they mess up too. Judah no longer lives in a world where he could just blame Joseph, his brothers, or his father, or some young widow for every conflict and tragedy. He can’t just take off either. “Wherever you go, there you are.” 

He has to face consequences when he deserves them. This time, he learned to repent and own up to his unjust and slutty behavior. Soon, he’ll own his past sin of selling Joseph by attempting to make it up to his father. I like this story because it shows how much your character can grow and how self-sacrificing you can become if you first learn to recognize where you're failing. Just the realization can change you. 

Onanism. You’ve been warned/this might get too real.

Genesis 38: 1-10 The Bible decides to leave us in suspense as to what happened to Joseph in order to focus on Jesus’ ancestor, Judah, and something weird that happened with him, his sons, and this woman named Tamar. We’ll take the first part of the chapter this week and the second part of the chapter next week.

Judah left his brothers and went to stay with another man. He met a Canaanite woman named Shua and married her. In Genesis, this is usually a bad move. God wants his people in a specific area, marrying a specific people. Whenever this family branches out and marries foreign women, they get crummy kids, strife, and other problems. Judah and Shua had three sons, Er, Onan, and Shelah, and they aren’t what we would call a rousing success for humanity. Judah arranged a marriage between his oldest son and a woman named Tamar.

But God decided Er was too wicked to live and killed him. We don’t know what he did, but it must have been bad. Maybe he was greedy. God has been known to smite the greedy. Then Judah told Onan, “Sleep with Tamar to fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law, and raise up children for your brother.” Onan knew the child would not legally be his. So whenever he slept with Tamar, he’d spill his semen on the ground so she wouldn’t get pregnant. God didn’t like this and put Onan to death too.

This is supposedly the masturbation portion of the Bible. (Yeah, I’m going there.) Many people (still, shockingly) go, “See! See! Onan masturbated and God didn’t like that and killed him.” Okay…sigh. It’s fine with me if you believe masturbation is wrong. I believe porn and objectifying people aren’t great (Matt. 5:27), and lots of people need to engage in those activities in order to masturbate. But to use this passage as evidence against all masturbation isn’t a strong move, logically.

First of all, the old testament is obsessed with procreation and heirs. They need to build the tribe, they need to continue to the family line so that Jesus can be born, the oldest son is very important, it’s taboo to marry a foreign woman (or a woman who isn’t related to you in some way), and heirs are a man’s very future. None of that is the case today. Secondly, I’m inclined to think that God was more concerned with the selfishness and lack of honor shown by Onan that the act he performed in order to avoid his duties.

Third, would we ever make a legal surrogate son for a dead sibling by sleeping with their widow? No. Does God necessarily want us to do that? No. It was about Onan’s heart. There aren’t a whole lot of life rules here besides “don’t be a sneaky jerk.” Tamar needed kids to support her in her old, widowed age in the future. It was a legal duty among these people that survived years later and was codified in Deuteronomy. It did not survive after rabbinical law was dropped. Fourth, there is doubt as to whether this was even masturbation. It sounds more like pulling out to me. Fifth, Onan used Tamar for sex. Hey, maybe THAT’S the capital sin here.

It may surprise you, but I don’t think masturbation is that important, one way or another. We gorge ourselves on Taco Bell (gluttony). Is that any different than…scratching an itch? Is masturbating worse than having sex before marriage? A guy once told me that it will happen anyway in your sleep if you don’t get that release. My mom had a kindergarten classmate who would do it. All the kids called her “worms” because they thought she was scratching at worms. BAH HAHAHA. Someone else told me that it’s actually sex because it’s “sex with yourself.” I disagree with that. Sex is a mechanism that helps people connect and become one flesh. I’m already one flesh with my flesh.

If God thought masturbation was a big deal, he would have AT LEAST mentioned it in Leviticus where sex is extensively discussed. Even in strict rabbinical law, masturbation doesn’t factor. It’s like God is saying, “Yeah, that’s your business. You can’t police that.” How can it be a big deal or huge sin if Leviticus didn't even care about it? I don't think we need another Biblical rule that's nearly impossible to follow. I'm still working on "love your neighbor as yourself," thanks. Don't add things!!!

I think this is one of those issues where it depends on the person (like watching rated-R movies; some people can parse them logically, or know what’s going to disturb them or tempt them. Some people are moldable or too young). What are you thinking about when you’re doing it? Is it an addiction for you? Does it drive you away from God? Does it fuel inappropriate levels of lust? What are you looking at when you’re doing it? Do you feel icky afterward? What if you’re thinking about your spouse? What if your mind is clear? Does it mean you are “mastered by the flesh” if you are not master of your domain? If you spend all your time resisting and thinking about resisting, doesn’t it master you then?

Does Paul’s “I can do anything, but I won’t be ruled by anything” assertion apply here? (Because if you’re addicted to it, yeah, that’s not great). Have you pledged allegiance to a church that forbids it? Is it hurting anybody? Should we necessarily assume that it negates purity? What’s unpure about a Christian’s body if the mind is on allowable things? Does it help your self-control to fight the urge? Does that make you a better person? These are all things you have to think about. The Bible doesn’t talk about it. It’s a grey area where you get to decide if it’s helpful or harmless. It’s between you, God, and the fencepost… Actually, leave the fencepost out of it. Oh jeez, I swear this is a Christian blog you guys.

Are you still with me?

I shouldn't be allowed to talk.

I know some people are going to strongly disagree, and they have a point. Even if it's okay, there's a fine and mostly mental line between "natural" and "okay, now you're giving into lust too much." I don't like when people say, "Well, it could lead to actually having sex or adultery." Of course you can find a link between something everyone does and anything a group does later in life. Hey guys, studies show that 99% of people who read books, ride bikes, enjoy ice cream, and enjoy frolicking on the beach masturbated in their teens?!!!! Well, now you know. Even if you think it's a sin, you have to admit we have much bigger concerns. Still disagree? Then enjoy this useful article http://christwire.org/2010/05/how-to-spot-a-masturbator/

I hope all that bragging was worth it, dude

I have two younger siblings, and I think I’ve mentioned before that we are close. Why? We live by our “sibling code.” Most siblings’ codes are unwritten, but we’re anal enough to write ours down. The code is as follows:

• Keep each other’s secrets when asked
• Never rat each other out, unless the sibling is in real danger (meaning work your conflicts out with each other without involving “the olds” as mediators)
• Don’t throw them under the bus or make them look bad to make thyself look good to thy parents
• Have each other’s backs in conflicts, be they physical or verbal
• The enemy of my sibling is my enemy
• Encourage thy sibling, let them know you are in their corner, and let them know you have high hopes for their futures
• Be your sibling’s friend and spend time with him/her
• Inform sibling when someone is secretly mad at our him and the sibling needs to fix it.
• Give the sibling advice on how to handle specific people or situations, when needed
• Call thy sibling out when he/she is being a douchebag and no one else will tell them
• Be honest and keep promises
• Trust thy sibling and know they have good intentions
• Share thy car (and leave the keys on the table by the door)
• Don’t be greedy with money toward thy sibling
• Don’t be a mooch
• Keep the communal bathroom clean (ish)
• Love everyone they date, unless they are abusive
• If thou art forced to share a bed, like when travelling, you must do your utmost to avoid touching them.
• If sibling yells shotgun, but you beat them to it in a race, sibling can go pound sand
• If it’s thine own car, you get shotgun if you aren’t driving
• Nose goes
• Give thy blood and organs
• Don’t compete and control thy jealousy
• Remember that the oldest sets the tone for the relationships. If the oldest treats the younger ones like they are pieces of crap, too young to hang out with, and only hangs out with their cool, older friends, the tone will be lame.
• Babysit their children and dogs
• Give their TV shows, movies, and books a chance
• Steal their fries when they aren’t looking
• Keep in touch

It boils down to respect. Siblings are humans too. Infuriating humans sometimes, but humans. Jacob’s sons were codeless siblings. This was mostly because Jacob had a favorite. It is a rare sibling code that can survive a parent loving one above all the others. Joseph was 17, and he seems like a spoiled brat. First of all, he “gave his father a bad report” about his brothers. Talkin’ smack. Tattletale. Jacob rewarded him with an “ornate” coat. 

We can just see his jealous older brothers seething. “Who does this guy think he is? Yeah, he was born when our dad was old to his favorite wife, but he’s such a backstabbing pain.” Joseph sounds like an arrogant little dilhole. His brothers end up doing him a favor by putting him through a lot of pain. It molds his character. As a teen, Joseph has these dreams about reigning over his brothers and them bowing down to him. Like a moron, HE TELLS THEM. Even Jacob wasn’t too thrilled to hear about these dreams (even though he “keeps the matter in mind.”) 

Joseph’s brothers are always painted as the bad guys in this story, with Joseph portrayed as meek, wide-eyed, and just telling the truth about the dreams (like in the musical version). It’s possible that Joseph didn’t have any tact or he had Asperger’s or something, but it’s more likely that the Bible shows an unwise teenager in need of grace, baiting his family. After getting a poor reaction from telling the first dream (one tellingly involving food), Joseph goes ahead and tells his family about the second dream. Once again, the Bible doesn’t have heroes and bad guys. It has people. It’s the story of God interacting with real people. 

The Jewish religious leaders didn’t change these stories to make their ancestors look perfect. They were interested in accuracy. The distasteful things and people in the Bible are evidence that it’s true. No one would make this stuff up. It’s too nasty. It gets even worse: Jacob’s many brothers plot to kill Joseph and throw him into a cistern. He’s just too annoying and uppity to live, and that way his dreams won’t come true, right? The oldest, Rueben, isn’t onboard. He says, “Let’s not kill him ourselves. Let’s just throw him into a cistern in the wilderness.” 

Rueben, like your typical conscientious oldest, wanted to rescue Joseph later. He did not, however, have the leadership moxie he should have. He should have been able to just say, “No, that’s a bad idea. Let’s take the high road.” He might have enjoyed being in the mob of brothers with an enemy to bond them. Rueben might have felt belonging and didn’t want them to oust him too. When you take a stand, you have to go all the way with it. Joseph shows up, the brothers take his precious robe, and they throw him in a dry cistern (a hole). Rueben leaves and the other brothers start eating dinner. Bad move leaving, Rueben. 

Some Ishmaelites show up, and one of the brothers and Jesus’s direct ancestor, Judah, says, “Why kill Joseph when we can sell him as a slave? After all, he’s our own flesh and blood. Killing’s probably too bad.” His brothers agree and they do it. They didn’t even make a lot of money. Joseph is then sold to one of the Egyptian Pharaoh’s officials, Potiphar. Rueben returns, sees the empty cistern, and tears his clothes. The brothers cover Joseph’s robe in goat blood, take it back to their father, and claim a wild animal ate Joseph. Jacob is crushed. As usual, God will use all of this for good. Still, if this family were functional, God probably would have brought the good about anyway. He’s a Man with a plan.

Are tattoos sinful?

My sister sent me this video, so rather than continue with Genesis, I'm gonna be lazy and post it. I'm knee-deep in a book right now, and I want to finish it, not blog. I mostly agree. What do you guys think of tattoos?

Lovers of Violence

Genesis 34-36: Dinah, Leah and Jacob’s daughter, left home to go visit some other women. In ancient days, women had little legal protection, and it was fine and normal for a woman to be raped if she was unattended. Leah and Jacob shouldn’t have let her walk around alone, especially since she had so many brothers. What happens is kind of their fault. Shechem, the area’s prince, saw Dinah, took her, and raped her. Then the Bible says his heart was drawn to Dinah and he loved her and spoke tenderly to her.

It’s funny that the Bible calls it love. Shechem said to his father, Hamor, the ruler of the area, “Get me this girl as my wife.” When Jacob heard that his daughter had been “defiled,” the Bible’s word, not mine, his sons were in the fields. Hamor went to talk with Jacob just as Jacob’s sons had come back. They were shocked and furious, because “Shechem had done an outrageous thing in Israel…a thing that should not be done.” Hamor said, “Look, my son has his heart set on Dinah. Let’s intermarry with each other. You can live in our land, trade in it, and own property there. Charge me a high bride price. I’ll give you whatever you want, just give me the woman.”

When Jacob hears the news, he doesn’t react in a way that condemns Shechem’s actions. He doesn’t get angry, and he doesn’t ask for justice. This is what happens when you sweep things like this under the rug. Someone is going to get mad and possibly go overboard. They will think, “Someone needs to do something, and I guess it’s me.” As the father and the leader, Jacob should have made the confrontations. Jacob’s sons decided to make something up to get revenge. They said, “You have to circumcise all your men first, and then we’ll do it. That’s what our people do for our God.” Shechem “lost no time in doing what they said.”

 Shechem and Hamor went back to their men and said, “Circumcise yourselves, and later Jacob’s livestock and property will probably become ours. Let’s get them to come here and settle among us.” Every male in the city agreed (that’s how greedy they were) and was circumcised. Three days later, while the men were still healing, Jacob’s sons, Simeon and Levi, attacked the city and killed every male. They looted the city and come home with all animals, property, women, children, and their sister, Dinah.

The first time I read this story, I think I read it wrong. The temptation is to think of what Jacob’s sons did as honorable, clever, and manly, but it really isn’t. Still, we have some sympathy for them because they stepped up where their father didn’t. It’s complicated. They did use the sign of God’s covenant with Israel (circumcision) for their own vengeful purposes. That’s kind of a perversion, right? Also, you’d have to be very cold to do all of this. Those are some hard hearts; the same hard hearts that will rise up against their own brother, Joseph, later. It’s also overkill (no pun intended). Only Shechem hurt Dinah.

In this society, we still think might, violence, good fighters, and “bad assness” are good traits. Are they? In some ancient cultures (like Rome), strength and pride were good things. When Christianity started spreading, it didn’t revolutionize culture right away. There were crusades and holy wars partly because that mentality of killing for your religion, family, and land were still embedded in the mind of society. That ego-driven bloodlust twisted Christianity into the version of Christianity that would most please the powerful. It took a while for us to value peace and meekness. I feel like that love of violent strength is coming back. Just look at the movies. It’s fun. Everyone loves a good action scene and admires the winner. So yeah, coming from this time and place, I was like, “Hell, yeah. Levi and Simeon are real men.” I think I was wrong. But where is the line between sin and satisfying vigilante-ism? Is there one?

 Jacob wasn’t happy. The brothers replied, “Should he have treated our sister like a prostitute.” Later in Geneis, Jacob has this to say of these two sons: “Instruments of cruelty are in their dwelling place. Let not my soul enter their council; let not my honor be united to their assembly. For in their anger, they slew a man…Cursed be their anger, for it is fierce and their wrath for it is cruel.” Jacob said, “Let them be scattered throughout Israel.” This came true. Simeon’s tribe was dissolved for a failure and became part of Judah. In Exodus, Levi was scattered for a good reason and ended up blessing Israel. So sometimes a curse turns out good?

Jacob shouldn’t have been in this area. Had he obeyed God and not feared Esau, Dinah wouldn’t have been there to be raped. Now, God told Jacob again to go to Bethel (where God had told Jacob to go in the first place). God was more receptive to the instructions this time. He realized it was time for this family to have a spiritual makeover. Jacob told everyone in his household to get rid of foreign gods/idols, purify themselves, and change their clothes. He said, “Let’s go to Bethel, where I will build an altar to God, who answered me in the day of my distress and who has been with me wherever I have gone.” So they gave Jacob all the idols and their earrings, and Jacob buried them.

When they set out, the “terror of God” fell on the towns all around them so that no one pursued them. Despite all the mistakes, God didn’t let this incident destroy this family. They arrived at their destination. There, Rebekah’s nurse, Deborah, died. They named her burial place “Oak of Weeping.” Even though Deborah was never mentioned before or after this, she must have been well loved.  God appeared to Jacob again, repeating old blessings. Jacob set up a stone pillar, poured a drink offering on it, and he also poured oil on it.

 Rachel was pregnant around that time, but her childbirth was difficult. With her last breath, she named her son Ben-Oni (meaning “son of my sorrow”), but Jacob changed the name to Benjamin (meaning “son of my right hand”). Good call, Jacob. Rachel was buried on the way to Bethlehem. Israel moved on again, and his oldest son, Reuben, slept with Bilhah, Jacob’s concubine.

I pointed out that Jesus came from Judah’s line, even though he is fourth born. Sometimes God completely disregards the tradition of favoring the oldest with the inheritance. Sometimes the oldest gives the inheritance away (like Esau did). Sometimes they show that they can’t handle it. Rueben slept with his father’s concubine, and Simeon and Levi kill a bunch of people. The next in line is Judah. That’s how it happened.

Jacob went to Isaac’s location. Isaac lived until 180. Jacob and Esau buried him. The Bible then lists Esau’s family line. His descendents are many, and a few are rulers and other wealthy men. Even though Esau didn’t get the blessing, he didn’t end up with nothing. It was the spiritual legacy he gave up. His descendants have names meanings that include “wicked” and one that incorporates the name of the popular ancient god, Baal.

Wrestlemania and the Baby Off

Genesis 29-33: Let’s just finish the Jacob story in one post, even if it will be the longest one in a while. It’s just bumming me out that I’m not Tim Keller. Seriously. His Jacob sermon series. Listen to the whole thing if you haven’t already. I’m going to rush the rest of this because my lack of Tim Kellerness is making me not want to blog at all. I want to get to Joseph, if only for the musical theater references.

Jacob arrives at his destination and sees Rachel, Laban’s daughter, before any of his other kin. Interestingly, she’s a shepherd. You mostly see male shepherds in the Bible. It’s love at first sight. Jacob shows off how strong he is to Rachel by rolling the stone from the well’s mouth, right after he sends all the shepherd boys on an errand to get her alone. Jacob kisses her and starts crying. Jacob stays with Laban for a month before Laban offers Jacob a job as a hired laborer. Jacob says he will work for seven years for Rachel. Seven years was more than the usual dowry offer, so Laban saw that Jacob was desperate and could be taken advantage of. 

Jacob didn’t want her older sister, Leah, because there was something unattractive about Leah’s eyes. Maybe they stuck out too far or she was cross-eyed. Leah seems to be in love with Jacob in this whole story. Laban gives a non-committal answer and Jacob hears a “yes.” The seven years Jacob served seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for Rachel. Then Jacob said to Laban, “Give me my wife. My time is completed, and I want to make love to her.” Tim Keller points out that this is a crude way to put it for the time. Jacob’s patience is at an end.

After his wedding, Jacob awoke the next morning to find out that Laban tricked him and he had married Leah. Let that be a lesson to you guys: always take a flashlight/candle to bed when you sleep with someone, and raise that veil during the wedding ceremony. This is karma because Jacob similarly tricked Isaac. God is correcting Jacob. Don’t worry. Laban reaps what he sows as well. Jacob has to work another seven years to get both women, and once he did, “his love for Rachel was greater than his love for Leah.” God saw that Leah was not loved, so he closed Rachel’s womb, but made Leah pregnant.

Leah gave birth to three sons, named them, and spoke words of yearning for Jacob after the birth of each boy, naming them according to her wish that her husband would love her too. When the fourth, Judah, was born, she said, “This time I will praise the Lord.” Judah is the child from which Jesus’s line came. Jacob can still have sex with Leah, though his heart remains far from her. This is not a foreign experience for lots of modern women. One of Leah’s sons was also the root of the line of Jewish priests. Those came from Levi.

The grass is always greener on the other side. Even though Rachel is loved and beautiful, unless she can achieve the success as measured by her culture, she feels she will die. Rachel has Jacob sleep with her servant, Bilhah, to bear a child so that Rachel could build a family through the servant. Bilhah bore two sons. Rachel says, “Bilhah will bear a child on my knees.” This means that Jacob will impregnate Bilhah while Bilhah lies on Rachel’s lap, making the offspring Rachel’s legal child.

Once again, I reflect on how interesting it would be to practice law if these kinds of laws were still the norm. Ancient law seems to be done with actions, rituals, cutting animals in half, and other things that make contracts. They didn’t just write stuff down or shake hands. To emphasize the legal aspect of this situation, when Dan (meaning “judgment”) is born, Rachel says, “God has judged my case; and He has also heard my voice and given me a son.”

Rachel’s next baby is named “wrestle.” Guys, we have a Baby Off. It’s a baby competition between the sisters, and it’s not even a semi-secret one. Rachel said, “I have had a great struggle with my sister and I have won.” Nice sibling relationship there. They have no sibling code. The competition brings Leah from the place of worshipping God right back to the place of envy and discontent.  Leah did the same thing with her servant, Zilpah, and Zilpah had two boys as well.

Later, Rachel wants some mandrakes (mandrakes were supposed to increase fertility), so she trades a night with Jacob in exchange for them, and Leah gets pregnant. What, was he on some full booty embargo (no sex unless both wives agree)? Did their sibling code forbid him from having sex with his wives? Rachel thinks Leah stole Jacob from her. Was Rachel not fully in on the plan to swap? Did she run to stop Jacob from marrying Leah? Did she tell him about the trick? Did she try to? Did they guard Rachel in the tent? Leah had yet another son after that and a daughter named Dinah. God then remembered Rachel and gave her Joseph. Joseph means “may he add.” Rachel has had her first biological son, but she wants to keep the contest going.

Rachel said, “God has taken away from me my disgrace.” Lots of Christians worship traditional values, but you can see that when they are elevated beyond their purpose, they distort lives and become people’s reason to be proud of their lives. Ugh. We don’t see in excruciating detail the hurt, bitterness, jealousy, anger, and competition of this family, but we get more than we usually get from Biblical accounts. Just imagine living in that family. You think you have a rivalry? You think your family treats you unfairly? Get a load of this one. Remember that children are growing up in this house. The boys’ futures reflect this strife-filled past. Thank God Leviticus banned the polygamous marriage of two sisters in the future.

Jacob thinks it might be time to go home. Laban practiced non-Jewish divination and found out by this process that God has been blessing Laban for Jacob’s sake. Laban wants Jacob, so Jacob agrees to stay in exchange for all the spotted and speckled goats. The methods Jacob used with his flock, along with God’s blessing, netted Jacob more animals. Laban’s sons start to see Jacob as a thief because they feel like they deserve to be the wealthy ones, not Jacob. Laban starts to believe he got the short end of the stick too, even though the original deal favored Laban. Jacob’s wives, to their credit, see their father for who he is and have cleaved to Jacob.

God tells Jacob to go home. The sisters unite and support the move. They don’t warn Laban that they are taking off. They all just leave, even though God promised Jacob that he would be with him and his safety was divinely guaranteed. This showed fear. Rachel got some back-up gods by stealing her father’s household idols. Her motives are unclear. Maybe she believed in them or maybe she wanted to keep Laban from using them (as a last parting gift of concern for her father). Maybe she did it out of fear that her father would succeed in catching them if he had the strength of his gods.

Laban came after them and caught them in seven days. But God came to Laban in a dream and said, “Be careful that you speak to Jacob neither good nor bad.” God doesn’t’ want Laban affecting Jacob in any way. He’s protecting Jacob. At the end of their wordy confrontation, they make a deal to stay on their own sides of the country. Their relationship has broken down in such a way that they realize it’s best to just stay away from each other. Sometimes you have to just kiss the in-laws goodbye.

Angels had been with Jacob on his journey, and God lets him see them on his way to meet Esau. This is nice, but it doesn’t do that much to diminish Jacob’s fear. This confrontation will be different. With Laban, Jacob was in the right. With Esau, Jacob is the new Laban. Would God let Jacob win a battle with Esau? Jacob takes measures to mitigate Esau’s anger, and fortunately those include a prayer to God.  God waits until Jacob is alone and then attacks him…literally and physically. God likes wrestling with us. He doesn’t like robots.

God has to beat the crap out of Jacob in order to conquer him and send the message, “No, I’m God, not you. I love you and I’ve got this. You’re fighting to know me and have the blessing I made you for. I’m going to give it to you, but you can’t walk away from an encounter with me unscathed.” It reminds me of the final battle in Warrior where the older brother in the movie has to beat some sense into his younger brother. Sometimes fights are conversations.

A Man attacks Jacob and wrestles with him until daybreak. Jacob is winning, so the man touches the socket of Jacob’s hip, dislocating it. The man said, “Let me go,” but Jacob refused to do so until the man blessed him. The man renamed Jacob “Israel” because he “struggled with God and with humans and overcame.” Jacob’s old name meant “trickster,” but God decided that part of his life should be over. Israel is two words put together. They are Sarah and El. Sarah means “struggle” or “rule” and El means “God.” Jacob asked the man’s name. The man replied, “Why do you ask my name.” Maybe the Man didn’t tell Jacob his name because Jacob already knew who it was. Then he blessed him there. The words of the blessing are, unfortunately, unrecorded.

Tim Keller has this to say about this story: “Jacob recognized who he was wrestling with—God himself. When he realized this, and saw the sun coming up, Jacob did the most astonishing thing he had ever done. He did not do the rational thing, which would have been to cry out, “Let me go! Let me go! I don’t want to die!” Instead he did the very opposite. He held on tight, and said, “I will not let you go until you bless me!” Jacob was saying something like this. What an idiot I’ve been! Here is what I’ve been looking for all my life. The blessing of God! I looked for it in the approval of my father. I looked for it in the beauty of Rachel. But it was in you. Now I won’t let you go until you bless me. Nothing else matters. I don’t care if I die in the process, because if I don’t have God’s blessing, I’ve got nothing. Nothing else will do. Jacob called the place Peniel because he “saw God face to face, and yet [his] life was spared.” Peniel means “face of God.”

Esau met Jacob with 400 men. After facing God, Jacob leads the procession to Esau. Facing a really scary, big fish makes the lesser (yet still big) fish easier to face. That’s one of the scariest things to learn through experience, but it’s one of the most useful hard lessons in life. Jacob puts the maidservants and their children in front with him. Leah and her sons get the medium amount of protection. Rachel is placed in the position of the most protection. 

Instead of trying to kill him, Esau ran to Jacob, hugged him, and kissed him. Jacob gave Esau gifts, called himself Esau’s servant, and his people bowed to Esau. Esau only accepted the gifts because Jacob insisted. I love this happy ending. I love when siblings love each other.  Jacob doesn’t go all the way to Bethel, where God wanted him. He stops short of that area, still a little afraid of Esau and not wanting to encroach on his territory. Jacob bought a plot of land, pitched his tent, set up an altar and called it El Elohe Israel, meaning "God of Israel."

Ladders and mirrors

Genesis 28. This is the ladder to heaven story. It’s popular because it’s cool. So much has been said about Jacob’s first encounter with God that I didn’t even want to touch it, and that’s why I just skipped blogging last week. (This kind of behavior doesn’t bode well for when I finally get to the crucifixion does it?) Isaac doesn’t hold a grudge against Jacob. He decides to bless him knowingly before Jacob leaves. This is great because this is the last time Jacob will see his parents. He told him to be sure to marry his uncle Laban’s daughters. Esau heard about all this and it really hit home that his wives upset his parents. So he went to Ishmael and married his daughter, Mahalath. Eventually, we see Esau coming to his brother with love and turning into a better man. Despising his blessing and learning a hard lesson is already prompting Esau to make better decisions in the future.

On Jacob’s way to his uncle’s land, he stopped for the night at sunset and used a stone for a pillow. Why is that detail in the story? Did the stone have a hand in causing the strange dream? Are the hippies right that rocks and gems might have some energetic power or spiritual significance? Or was it just included to show how pathetic Jacob’s situation is right now? Jacob dreamt that he saw a ladder to heaven and angels of God were ascending and descending on it. God says, “I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to your land. I won’t leave you until these promises are fulfilled.”

One of the coolest things about this dream is that it was referenced by Jesus later. And He said to him, “Most assuredly, I say to you, hereafter you shall see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of Man.” Jesus is the ladder. Tim Keller also points out that the angels of God were ascending and descending on it, rather than Jacob climbing up the ladder to get to God. God comes to us, through Jesus. The tracts fundies hand out always show us crossing the Jesus Bridge (usually drawn as a cross) to get to God. Who’s doing the crossing here? Who always does all the work?

Jacob woke up and thought, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it. How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God. This is the gate of heaven.” Jacob was afraid. Early the next morning, he set the pillow stone up as a pillar and poured oil on top of it. I’d like to know more about the significance of oil in the Bible, so maybe I should read up on that. Anyway, Jacob called that place Bethel and made a vow: “If God will be with me and watch over me on this journey, giving me food and clothing so that I may return safely to my father’s household, then the Lord will be my God, and this stone will be God’s house, and of all that is given to me, I will give God a tenth.”

This isn’t the only time someone has realized that God is around and been surprised not to have known it. Rob Bell asks if we miss that we’re on holy ground all the time. Psalms says that you can’t leave God’s spirit or presence. Bethel crops up again later in the Bible. Was Jacob making a deal here, or was he accepting the promise and showing gratitude? It would make a difference to the origin of the tithe. We  would love if the tithe came out of an expression of gratitude for being cared for by God, rather than an obligation. I tend to think the tithe is an Old Testament thing. The New Testament says that we should give “generously.” The ten percent rule can be used as more of a guideline. Today, it makes more sense that everything is God’s and it’s all about the attitude with which we use and transfer money.

When I was a kid, I had a similar dream. I wanted to take communion the night before, but my parents wouldn’t let me, since I hadn’t prayed the Sinner’s Prayer. I was around seven, and I prayed the prayer so that I could do what the adults were doing. It looked official and fun. It was a disappointment. The cracker was stale and who even likes grape juice? I prefer when it’s cranberry. When I went to be that night, I had a dream that angels were going in and out of a mirror. I told my relatives the next morning, and one of them pulled out the Bible and read this story. He read what God said to Jacob and said that’s what God was saying to me.

Sweet thought, but even at that age, I figured that was B.S. (Not that God would say the opposite to a child). I went along with it, believing I was saved, but that a dream was  just a dream. I don’t think that’s how you accurately use the Bible (finding similar dreams and saying your dream meant the same thing). Fortunately, I prayed my own prayer when I was old enough to understand what was actually going on. This story always makes me smile because it reminds me of being a kid. I never worried about hell as a child because I was “saved” through passing a little litmus test and saying the magic words. I don’t think kids should sit around worrying about hell and being scared, so I guess, overall, it was nice. 

I'm not in the blogging mood this week, but...

Enjoy this picture of an exorcism kit. Hilarious.

Law school wills and trusts lesson #1: Your family will try to steal from you

Genesis 27. Isaac was old and blind, and he thought he was going to die soon. He was wrong. But he called Esau into a private meeting and told him to go hunting, cook food, and bring it to his father. Isaac said that he would bless Esau after he did all this. Esau went out to hunt. Even though God made it clear that he chose Jacob to bless, Isaac still wanted to give it to Esau. In this, he was choosing the ways of the world over God’s plan, so let’s not feel too bad for him getting cheated by Jacob here. Anything you have is given by God and isn’t really yours. Isaac’s blessing was promised to another, and that’s who was gonna get it. Esau must have liked his manly, hunting son, as well as bought into the tradition that the oldest should get everything.

It looks like Isaac was doing this behind everyone’s back too, because Rebekah overheard the plan that Isaac told only to Esau. If Isaac had done it in front of everyone, servants and all, he might have gotten his way. But he didn’t want to stir the pot and probably knew he was doing wrong and wanted it to be secret. For their parts, Rebekah and Jacob should have trusted God to bring Jacob the blessing, rather than deceiving and stealing. This story might have gone a lot differently had they been patient and trusting, but the end result would have been the same.

Rebekah overheard Isaac’s instructions and told Jacob, “I’m going to make Isaac some food, and you’re going to bring it in there and intercept the blessing.” Jacob said, “But Esau is a lot hairier than I am, and when my father touches me, he’ll know it’s not Esau. Then I would appear to be tricking him and I’d bring a curse down on myself rather than a blessing.” This is Jacob’s mentality: He’s not worried about the fact that his family is secretive and split, and that he may hurt his father or brother. He just wants to know whether he will get away with it unscathed. Rebekah said, “Let the curse fall on me. Do what I say.” She’s a true mother to Jacob, asking for the curse to fall on her. So Jacob obeyed his mother. Rebekah covered Jacob with goatskins to make him feel hairy. Goatskins? Dude, how hairy was Esau, anyway? That’s a lot of hair.

Jacob went to Isaac, posing as Esau. Isaac was all, “That was a pretty quick hunt.” Jacob replied, “Well, God must have given me success.” Here, Jacob throws out some “God talk,” using God in this deception to get what he wants. People do that a lot. Isaac was suspicious and asked to touch Jacob. After feeling the hair, Isaac thought, “He sounds like Jacob, but he feels like Esau.” Isaac asked again, “Are you really Esau?” Jacob said he was. Isaac believed him and blessed him. Jacob had “scarcely left his father’s presence” when Esau came in with food. Isaac and Esau realized they had been tricked.

Isaac started trembling and Esau burst out with a loud and bitter cry and said, “Bless me too!” Isaac said, “Too late. It’s gone.”  Esau asked, “Haven’t you reserved any blessing for me? Do you have only one blessing, my father? Bless me too, my father!” Then Esau started crying. Isaac said, “Your dwelling will be away from the earth’s richness, away from the dew of heaven above. You will live by the sword and you will serve your brother. But when you grow restless, you will throw his yoke from off your neck. ” This means that Esau would not be under his brother forever, but he’d probably be spending a lot of time in the desert.

Esau held a grudge against Jacob and planned to kill him when Isaac died. Rebekah warned Jacob and told him to run to her brother Laban’s land and stay with his uncle. Rebekah told Jacob that she would send for him when Esau wasn’t angry anymore. She said, “Why should I lose both of you in one day?” In explanation to Isaac, Rebekah said, “I’m disgusted with living because of these Hittite women. If Jacob takes a Hittite wife, my life won’t be worth living.” Isaac bought that. Rebekah was a good family politician.

What’s crazy here is all the scheming, diplomacy, power plays, maneuvering, favoritism, control, jealousy, and secrets. It ripped this family apart and turned them against one another. This was a GOOD family. They knew God. Rebekah and Isaac loved each other a few chapters ago and had a long, monogamous relationship. They had twins that they waited a long time for. They should have valued both of them so much. They had all the pedigrees. They were wealthy and blessed by God. They lived a peaceful existence. Yeah, Esau married some Hittite women that didn’t get along with anyone, but why? Was he spoiled by his father or over-praised for his hunting skills? Whatever happened, people got greedy and didn’t think according to God’s will, but their own plans.

This kind of thing happens in lots of families even today. Maybe even especially today. Just wait until someone rich dies and a will is contested. You’ll find that, for most people, gold is thicker than blood. And everyone feels like they deserve the reward. They only see their own side, their own entitlement. Be careful. Everyone in this story thought they were doing what was necessary, when really they shouldn’t have been trying to control the situation. It’s hard to see where you are wrong or where means-to-an-end philosophies don’t work. Once again, outrage, greed, justification, the bad behavior of your opposition, and your own sense of justice can work against you and blind you to where you are wrong.

You always have to look, in any situation, at what you did wrong, even if it’s 99% their fault and 1% your fault. Then you act as if that 1% is just as serious as their 99% and make amends for that portion without mention of the portion over which you had no control. I think the best thing to do is be open with your friends and family. Have no secrets. When they confess something to you, show them grace, listen, and repeat what they say so that they know you’ve understood them. Don’t play games. Lay your cards on the table, in the open. Tell them what you want, why you think you should have it, and what you are planning. Encourage them to be open with you and reward them for it. Don’t make alliances. This isn’t survivor. And if there's a dispute, err on the side of giving them their way. Family is more important than money or businesses or trinkets. God is in control of everything you have anyway.  

Cycles, good and bad, are hard to break

I’m currently reading The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins. He’s funny, if you don’t get offended by arrogance, sarcasm, overly pretentious writing, and the mocking of religion. I really don’t. So far, it’s making me understand the thought processes behind being an atheist and why some feel so threatened and annoyed when exposed to religion. I agree with him that there’s no such thing as a “Christian child.” They aren’t old enough to make that decision yet. As for raising your child Christian being child abuse? Naw. It’s the sort of thing you can reject as soon as your teens, if you want to. 

I think it’s good because it helps you understand religions people, religion, and why anyone would even think in spiritual terms. It gives you the option to be spiritual. The people I know who were raised agnostic don’t even think about it or analyze those big questions much. They don’t know it’s something to think about. I’d rather open that door to my kids. Do I recommend Christians read books like this? Absolutely, but only if they've studied the Bible and books written by Christians first so that they aren't swayed by the weakest arguments from the other side. If you have a good foundation, you can learn something and become stronger in your own faith.

I’m a good ways in, and so far I still believe in God. Should this belief be altered, it will probably affect this blog, so that’s a heads up. Unlikely though. As Socrates said, “It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” And, well, I went to school. It’s fun to have a mental dialogue with the guy though. I don’t argue with actual atheists because they tend to get upset and think I'm trying to convert them. Everyone knows an argument usually doesn't convert anyone to another way of thinking. So I get all my arguing out in my imagination. It’s a fun mind game. If he has a good point or is able to sway me, I want to know. It’s better to know a cold, hard truth that would destroy you than to live for a lie. So far, he’s debunked the lousiest arguments for the existence of God. Good job, pick better ones next time. Dawkins has really sparked my interest in physics though, weirdly. Especially since he’s a biologist.

Genesis 26 is not a popular or controversial passage. We see repetition, the same promises, and some of the same sins and conflicts as in previous chapters. There was a famine in the land and Isaac went to Abimelek, the Philistine king. The Lord appeared to Isaac and told him not to go live in Egypt, but to stay in the land God wanted him to live in. God repeats the big promise, saying, “Through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed because Abraham obeyed me.” Abraham wasn’t always obedient, but he did have faith, therefore he was declared righteous. Isaac follows his father’s example both in faith/following God and occasionally stumbling. 

As a commenter observed, lies run in this family. It’s a great family of faith and blessing, but man, they can’t stop deceiving. Isaac was asked about his beautiful wife, Rebekah, and he went for his dad’s standby lie: “She is my sister.” Abimelek saw Isaac caressing Rebekah and called him on it. The King James Version said Abimelek saw Isaac “sporting” with Rebekah. So we have absolutely no idea what the king actually saw them doing, and who really wants to know anyway? It wasn’t platonic, that’s for sure. Isaac came clean and Abimelek was upset. Abimelek ordered his people not to harm Isaac or Rebekah, on penalty of death. Problem solved. 

The Lord blessed Isaac with a really good crop that year. He became rich and envied by the Philistines, so he had to move. Eventually, the pagans saw that God blessed Isaac and decided it would be smart to make a peace treaty with him. Esau got married at age 40 to a woman named Judith (did you know that was a Biblical name?) and another woman named Basemath (not one for the name books, I guess). Isaac and Rebekah didn’t get along with them. They were both Hittite women. As Tim Keller often points out, whenever there is polygamy in the Bible, things don’t go smoothly with the family as a whole.

Jacob and Esau make a deal

We’re nearing the story of Jacob, and I don’t even want to approach it because of how well Tim Keller handled it in his sermon series “The Gospel According to Jacob." I’ll do my own, inferior take though. Abraham takes another wife/concubines and has a lot more kids. He gives gifts to the sons of his concubines and sends them away from Isaac, leaving the lion’s share of his estate and the promised land to Isaac. Abraham died at the age of 75 and “was gathered to his people.” Ishmael came back for the burial, which I think is nice. He wasn’t totally shunned and didn’t hate his father.

Isaac was 40 years old when he married Rebekah (wow, that’s a long wait). Rebekah couldn’t have kids for a long time (Isaac was 60 when Rebekah finally gave birth), so Isaac prayed on her behalf. The babies “jostled each other within her.” Jewish legend says that they were trying to kill each other in the womb. Rebekah wondered why her insides were so stirred and asked God. She probably didn’t know it was twins. God said, “Two nations are in your womb. The two people inside you will be separated. One people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger.” When they were born, the first to come out was red and hairy all over. Which is really weird on an infant, no? They named him Esau, an name denoting his hairiness. After this, Jacob was born, grasping Esau’s heel. The name Jacob refers to the heel catching, and it’s not a good name. It names him a con-man or trickster.

The boys grew and Esau became a skilled hunter, a “man of the open country.” A man’s man. Jacob was more of an indoor guy. Most second-born kids, when they pop out, take one look at the older kid and seem to say, “I’m gonna be the opposite of THAT.” I know it’s true in my family. Jacob sat around in the tents, but he liked wild game, so he loved Esau for bringing them all food. Isaac liked Esau. Rebekah favored Jacob. So did God. That’s who God is. He doesn’t pick the obvious candidate most of the time, he picks the weak one and makes him great (like with King David). You also see God rejecting the traditional, world-made selection of the oldest child over the younger children. This is a practice that means nothing to God. Favoritism in families based on birth order just doesn’t factor into God’s choice.

God’s choice also wasn’t based on moral character or the choices of the sons. He knew which one needed to continue the line and gave the birthright in grace. You see, Jacob wasn’t all that much better than Esau. You see Jacob making lousy choices throughout his life. Esau comes across as unsympathetic twice, but he has good moments (particularly one of forgiveness years later). He has a problem with instant gratification, shown in both this chapter and his casual sex habits. Hebrews 12 describes Esau as a profane person and a fornicator. Still, Jacob has his faults too.

One day, when Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau came home hungry and asked for some. Esau was also called Edom. Jacob said, “Sure, if you sell me your birthright.” Esau agreed and swore an oath, his thought process being that he was going to die one day anyway, so he might as well enjoy life now. What good is a birthright when it all comes to nothing and you don’t keep anything? Huge mistake. You see this kind of thought crop up a lot, and those who know that life, gifts, and choices have permanence will reject this line of thought. The birthright was eternally valuable, and Jacob knew this. In the Old Testament, birthrights have spiritual consequences. It’s not all about inheriting wealth.

The birthright passed the father’s spiritual inheritance too. This would include the covenant between God and Abraham, in this family. The son who holds the birthright becomes the head of the family and the spiritual leader of the family. We don’t know if Jacob’s parents told him that God said the younger would serve the older. Maybe Jacob already knew the birthright was his and he was making sure he would get it. Because God said it was his, it was already Jacob’s. If Jacob hadn’t taken matter into his own hands, would things have gone differently? Would Esau have just fallen off a cliff or something? Is the tricking and dealing the reason Jacob had to spend so much time away from his family while God refined his character?            

     

I think the lesson here, for us, in this little chapter is to recognize what our spiritual birthrights and purposes are, know that we already have them, and not “despise” them like Esau in favor of other, more present and physical things. This is a common universal pattern. In order to get long-term benefits, you have to have the long term in mind. Something to reflect on. Not that Bible stories are intentional morality tales, but like life, you can find the lessons in them. We people love a narrative.

Sex, Marriage, and Nose Rings

So, you know how I said this post was gonna be special? Well, in light of the Chik-Fil-A nonsense, I was going to use this week to talk about homosexuality and gay rights. When I finally get to that, it's gonna be fantastic, if only because it's so darn controversial/fun. But I still think it's better saved for Leviticus.  I loooove Leviticus.

Genesis 23-24: Sarah died and was buried in the Hittites’ best tombs. Well, caves. Obviously, this made both Abraham and Isaac sad. It was time for Isaac to get a wife to replace the feminine energy he lost when Sarah died. Now, the Bible tells us that Abraham was “old, well advanced in years.” Umm, when was he NOT old in his Biblical story? This dude has been old this whole time. We know he’s older now. Abraham had his servant (the oldest one in his household) promise to get a wife for Isaac from Abraham’s land. In Genesis 15, this was Eliezer, but it might have changed in the following 60 years, so the servant is unnamed.

Half sister-lovin’ Abraham wanted Isaac to marry family (as you do) and not the Canaanite women. The servant said, “It might be tough getting your kindred to come all the way out there. Should I bring Isaac to the land from where you came?” Abraham said, “No, God wants us to have this land. If no woman will follow you here, then you can scrap this whole promise.” Then the servant put his hand under Abraham’s thigh and swore. Well, that’s odd. Let’s look at that. All I could find on this is that an oath made by this custom was very serious. Notice that a servant was sent, not Isaac. No one wanted Isaac to leave the promised land. What if he didn’t come back?

So the servant took ten camels and some gifts, and then he want to Mesopotamia, specifically Nahor. The servant made the camels kneel outside the city by a well in the evening, the time when all the women go out to get water. The servant prayed to Abraham’s God, asking for the right/chosen young woman to let him drink out of her jar while she watered his camels. Now, this was a lot of work, so it would take someone with a real servant’s heart to do it, especially since the servant brought other men and they would just stand around watching her haul water. You know, like gentlemen. The servant doesn’t pray for the wife to be good-looking; he wants someone nice.

Before the servant even finished the prayer, Rebekah came out with her water jar on her shoulder. This happens with prayer sometimes. Isaiah 65:24 says, “It shall come to pass that before they call, I will answer; and while they are still speaking, I will hear.” The Bible can be pretty sweet. Rebekah was Isaac’s second cousin, a virgin, and very attractive. Sounds perfect for him. She gave the servant a drink and drew water for his camels.   

The servant gave Rebekah a gold ring and two gold bracelets. The ring was most likely a nose ring. Nose rings would make lots of conservative Christians these days faint, but it was not a big deal back then. It wasn’t trashy or immoral in any way for Rebekah to have a nose ring. It’s not something to worry about, in my opinion. Let people have their nose rings. You can care about the trendiness of your appearance and still have a servant’s heart, as long as you keep your priorities in order.

The servant then went to talk to Rebekah’s brother and mother, and they agreed that it was God’s will for Rebekah to marry Isaac. They asked Rebekah what she thought, and she said she was willing to go. Isaac was out meditating in the field toward the evening. He looked up and saw Rebekah coming. The servant told Rebekah this was Isaac. She took her veil and covered herself. When Rebekah met Isaac, she wanted to give the impression that she was modest, moral, a virgin, and a servant. The servant brought Isaac up to speed on the story and then Isaac immediately brought Rebekah into his mother’s old tent and had sex with her. They weren’t seeking romantic love when God brought them together. They were both serving and seeking God, living their lives as they knew best, and then it just happened because it was supposed to.

After they had sex, the Bible says, “she became his wife, and he loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.” Lots of people use this passage to justify premarital sex and still hold to conservative values. They say it's okay as long as the Christians marry each other at some point afterward. They say, “The two didn’t sin because they were married in God’s eyes and then stayed together. Rebekah and Isaac were married after they had sex. There was no ceremony or legal document.” Certainly intercourse is essential to marriage, and many cultures required it as a part of marriage. No sex meant no marriage. It literally sealed the deal.

But I disagree with this line of thought because when Rebekah and Isaac went into the tent to have sex they had both agreed to be married to each other. She said, “I will go” to the servant, and Isaac was told that this was the wife God chose for him. They had sex with the intention to be together forever, not with the intention to love each other for the foreseeable future and maybe marry later. The sex and the intent to marry happened concurrently, and that makes all the difference. Sex does not equal marriage. It’s not the same thing. Marriage is a choice paired with sex.

Hereafter in the post, I am proceeding under the assumption that the no premarital sex rule still applies today (even though we marry at 28 and not 13 now). Christians, you don’t “fix” your “mistake” by marrying someone after you sleep with them. It doesn’t make the slate clean. You still became one without the concurrent unselfish intention to give all of yourself, forever. Don’t think that God wants you to marry the person you slept with to fix something when you wouldn’t otherwise marry them. Marry for the right reasons: Because you want to marry that person. If you love them and think you should get married after sex, awesome. If you don’t want to…not awesome. 

Two wrongs don’t make a right. They don’t make for much of a marriage either. You didn't willingly make sacrifices for each other. You didn't willingly choose that life. It sounds miserable to me. The temptation to appear perfect and not have other Christians think you committed THE SIN OF ALL SINS (sarcasm, sex is not the worst sin) is huge these days. Have the courage to move on. Let’s be honest: Most Christians have sex before marriage. If you have, you’re not alone and you’re still under the law of grace.

And once again...

My dad has no internet in his house, and I can't write a whole post on my phone. I'll make it extra special next week, I promise.

Special not-so-lazy bar review edition

swamped. ugh.

Jaime, Cersei, and Isaac

Genesis 20-22. Well Abraham does it again, folks. The same thing he did decades ago. He lied to a ruler about his wife out of fear. (It’s always the same sins that creep up on us, like we are all born with specific weak areas.) Abraham decides to move in this chapter, possibly because living near the ruins of Sodom and Gomorrah was bumming him out, and ended up in Gerar where Abimelech was king. Abimelech took Sarah for his own because he thought she was Abraham’s sister. God came to Abimelech in a dream and said, “You’re as good as dead, buddy. She’s married, but since you did this with a clear conscience, I kept you from sinning against me by not letting you touch her.” At this point, it was vital that Isaac’s parentage not be in question, first because God’s promise would be doubted, and second, because Jesus was to come from this line.

God told Abimelech to return Sarah and Abimelech did. Abimelech called Abraham in. Abraham basically said, “Well, I looked at your nasty kingdom full of hoodlums and figured there was no fear of God here, so they would kill me and take my wife. Also, she’s my half sister by our father. Ever since God caused me to wander from my father’s house, this has been our policy in these situations.” The usual excuses and blame-shifting are present. Abraham blames God here, complaining that God caused him to “wander.” The particular word for “wander” used here is never used by the Bible in a good way. It’s akin to a drunk guy staggering around. Abimelech then brought gifts to Abraham and Sarah, showing that he’s the bigger person in this situation. Last time Abraham was offered gifts by a pagan king, Abraham didn’t accept them. But now that Abraham realizes he’s not the good guy in this situation, he allows Abimelech to make the grand gesture.

Hilariously, Abimelech addresses Sarah and says, “Behold, I have given your brother a thousand pieces of silver.” Nice one, Abimelech.( Since Abraham and Sarah are half-sibling lovers, and I’m me, I like to imagine they look like the Game of Thrones twins. Wildly inaccurate, I know, but it makes me happy.) After that, Sarah finally bore Isaac, 25 years after he was promised. Abraham sent Ishmael and Hagar away, at Sarah’s behest and with God’s permission. Ishmael became an archer and married an Egyptian woman. Then comes Abraham’s big test. I love this story, and I feel like it’s misunderstood a lot. An atheist praised the New Testament Jesus to me, but then followed it up with, “But the Old Testament God was a douchebag. He told Abraham to kill his own son and then said, ‘Why are you doing that?’” The problem is that Christian have been emphasizing the least important thing in this story: Abraham’s faith. The point God is making and what this tells us about God is the important part.

 God told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, whom he loved. This is the first mention of love in the Bible. Note: Isaac wasn’t unwilling in this whole thing. The Bible twice says he and his father “went together,” which meant literally that they “went in agreement.” While there is no stated age, Isaac carried the wood for the sacrifice up the mountain, implying that he almost certainly was not a small child. Isaac is referred to as a “lad,” a word which, in the original language, could refer to a young male from infancy until the point he was married. Several Jewish commentators estimate that Isaac was in his 30s. Anyway, Abraham was over 100 and Isaac probably could have escaped at any point during the trip, if he’d wanted to. Isaac should be commended for faith and obedience too.

I feel like this chapter says more about God than it does about Abraham. Sure, Abraham showed his faith and growth, but God already knew Abraham’s heart. This test was to show Abraham something. First, it must have been personally freeing for Abraham to know how much he feared God and to know that God knew the level of his faith too. But the most important thing coming out of this chapter is that God is totally different from every other god out there. If you haven’t watched “The Gods Aren’t Angry” by Rob Bell, you should. It’s my favorite thing he’s done. It’s on DVD. If you’re willing, stop reading right now, because I’m about to ruin it. If not, here are the cliffnotes.

Bell points out that in ancient days, it was not out of the ordinary to sacrifice a child to the gods. This was by far NOT the only time this was done in the ancient world. In the ancient days, people thought the gods provided good fortune, and if they were angry or displeased, your whole family and society was doomed. People had no understanding of science and had little control over whether there would be food or health. So they sacrificed animals. And if things still didn’t go perfectly, well, there was gold, castration, mutilation, sacrifice of virgins, and then, finally, sacrifice of their sons, which were their future and all they had left to give. People lived in constant fear of consequences for not being good enough (much like we do, when we strive for perfection to deliver us from shame).

Abraham didn’t seem shocked at God’s request. He went about it like it was business as usual, even though some of his words to Isaac imply that Abraham suspected there was going to be some sort of twist (he said “God will provide the sacrifice”), because he knew God pretty well by then. Unless he meant that God had provided Isaac… People get so upset that God would ask Abraham to kill his child to prove his faith. But God didn’t, you guys. Did you miss that part? It’s the other gods that did. It’s that society that did. God was making a point that he was a new kind of God, not subject to the religious norms of the day. You were going to know  where you stood with this God, so you wouldn’t have to live in fear. This God was going to provide all the sacrifices, all the ways to reconciliation, and all the sons. Since this point was made, you don’t see God making the same request later in the Bible. We’ve seen several times in Genesis God pointing out that he’s a God of grace, and Jesus hasn’t even shown up yet. There’s no displeased God in heaven keeping score, breathing down your neck. There’s one waiting with the sacrifice.

Special Lazy July 4th Edition

God Bless America. And everyone else too, I guess, haha.

Don't Look Back

Genesis 19. The two angels arrived at Sodom in the evening, after visiting Abraham, and saw Lot sitting in the city’s gateway. Lot insisted they stay the night at his place. They were about to go to bed when men surrounded the house. They hollered to Lot, saying, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them.” Very blunt, guys. Lot went outside and stood in front of his closed front door. He said, “No, my friends. Don’t do this wicked thing. I have two virgin daughters. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like to them. But don’t do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof.”

Someone once asked me, if God is so good, why did Lot offer his daughters to be raped. I barely suppressed an eye roll at the gap in logic there. We should remember that there is a difference between what the Bible records and what it approves. Lot’s actions were not always good or approved by God. Lot shouldn’t have moved back to this evil city in the first place. Lot was also some sort of official in Sodom, since he was sitting near the gate. He’d built a life in this degenerate place that persisted in sin even when it was delivered by Abraham, saw his example, and its king saw Melchizedek. Lot probably shouldn’t even be in this area. When Abraham first heard God’s voice, he should have left Lot with the rest of his family, since God said to leave his family behind. Lot has only caused trouble for Abraham ever since. Then he raised his children in a community that perverted them. These guys, although better behaved than their neighbors, aren’t perfect and have free will to disobey God.

 We should also remember that the social norms of history are different than ours. Lot hasn’t grown up listening to Gloria Steinem or modern church pastors. In that society, it was extremely dishonorable to let your guests come to harm or get raped. Even though we, thousands of years later, think it’s more important to prevent violence to women than to guests, Lot’s sacrifice of his children was good in his eyes. You can see these different priorities in Lot’s explanation that his guests came under the “protection of his roof.” Lot was doing the “good thing” for the norms of his time, making a sacrifice that likely hurt him. Lot thought sacrificing his daughters was a lesser evil. Women had low social standing in ancient cities, and Lot was not immune from his culture’s influence. Later, the Bible gets more progressive with women in the New Testament (telling their husbands to be willing to die for them), but right now, God’s voice is meeting his people in their society, where they are, and tugging them a few steps forward, not a whole mile.

There’s a debate about whether this chapter condemns homosexual relationships. The “strange flesh” the rapists were after could have been angelic flesh, not specifically gay flesh. Angels are kind of neuter, right? They are called “men” in this chapter, but the main sin in this scene was trying to violently hurt God’s messengers. The would-be rapists in this chapter don’t exactly pair with long-term, monogamous, and willing homosexual relationships. Ezekiel also points out that Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed because they were greedy, having much and not sharing with their neighbors, and they were arrogant. They also did “detestable things” and were sexually immoral/perverse. You know, like rapists. But this chapter is interpreted as condemning homosexuality, so that’s why the legal word for anal sex is “sodomy.” My point here is, if you believe the Bible is against homosexuality, this isn’t going to be your strongest passage from which to draw during an argument (that would absolutely be the Leviticus verse). It can be debated. As far as that controversy goes, I'm going to stand on the fence for the purposes this blog and present both sides. I think that will be most interesting and will enable me to write some points you might not have heard before, whether you agree or not. But that will come later. Leviticus is the place, not Sodom.

Back to the crowd. They started trying to break in. The angels finally decide to use their angel powers, striking the men with blindness so they couldn’t find the door. The angels told Lot to get all his people and leave, because they were going to destroy Sodom. “The outcry to the Lord against its people is so great that he sent us to destroy it.” Once again, this city was destroyed mainly because there was injustice and the suffering of innocents. That was God’s main beef, and that’s what’s most serious. While we sit in judgment of gays, thinking we’re not Sodom, remember that we can get pretty greedy and cause suffering, as a nation. I love the U.S., but it’s true.

Lot went to the guys promised to his daughters in marriage and said, “Get out, because God’s going to take this place down.” They thought he was joking, so they were not saved. Dawn was coming and the angels could see Lot’s hesitation. Lot was still attached to this evil place and the success he had built there. This is a miserable place to be. Lot was too comfortable with the world to live for God, but he had too much righteousness/knowledge of God to really enjoy worldly pleasures fully and blindly. I can really relate to that. I think this is descriptive of a lot of Christians. They are too deep to shrug off signs of God everywhere, but they have too much wealth and opportunity to dive right into living for God completely.

So the angels took Lot’s hand and the hands of his wife and daughters and led them out of the city. Then the Lord rained burning sulfur on S and G. Lot’s wife looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt. Lot and his daughters settled in the mountains where he lived in a cave with his daughters. Now we find out that they were the worst daughters ever. How is it that they were virgins?!! They were total pervs. True daughters of Sodom. They said, “We have no men to give us kids, so let’s get our dad drunk and sleep with him.” Apparently, they had wine in this cave. They are pretty much destitute, but they’ve managed to bring along some booze, which really shows their priorities.

They got Lot so drunk that he passed out and didn’t even notice when they slept with him. They did it on different nights too. How is this possible? How can you be THAT drunk and be able to...you know...get it up? I'm no expert, but is it possible that this is Lot's version of the story? "Oh yeah. They got me drunk. I wasn't even awake for it." Is it possible that he was willing? I believe in the Bible's accuracy, but...is it possible that this part got warped? Maybe it really did happen that way though. Anyway, they became pregnant. The older daughter had a son, Moab, the father of the Moabites. The younger daughter had a son named Ben-Ammi, who became the father of the Ammonites. These people are Israel’s future enemies.