Very Nice. How Much?

Genesis 38:11-30 So, Judah has left his father’s house, probably because he feels too guilty over what he did to Joseph and can’t bear to see his father grieve. He goes to foreign lands (which is something God hates for this family to do), gets a foreign wife, and raises morally defective sons. This chapter interrupts the Joseph story to give us this side story about Jesus’s direct ancestor. Something has to get Judah from a place of selling Joseph, blaming everyone but himself, and running from his mistakes to a place where he would sacrifice himself for Benjamin’s freedom and his family’s well-being.

After his older two sons were struck down by God, Judah blames Tamar. He doesn’t want to give her to his last son, Shelah, because Judah figures the marriage would kill him too. The trouble is, he owes Shelah to Tamar. He blames the girl rather than himself for raising wicked sons. Maybe he thinks Tamar is so wicked or cursed that God will not allow her to be happily married. 

Judah says to Tamar, “Live as a widow in your father’s household until Shelah grows up.” So Tamar does. But Judah never calls her. Shelah grows up. Judah never releases Tamar from her obligation to his family. Maybe he sees this as a fair punishment. She’s under his authority, and she can’t go marry someone else. She is childless, has no purpose, and is put on hold. It’s an injustice.

After Judah’s wife dies, he goes up to a place called Timnah to visit the men who were shearing his sheep. He takes his friend Hirah with him. Tamar takes off her widow’s clothes (which she had been wearing this whole time), covers herself with a veil, and sits where Judah will encounter her on his trip. When Judah sees the disguised Tamar, he thinks she is a random prostitute, because her face is hidden. I guess this wasn’t rare for hookers in the day. Maybe a lot of them were ugly, who knows? Judah's down for some sex. They agree on a young goat from his flock as the price, and Tamar takes his seal, its cord, and Judah’s staff as collateral.

They sleep together and she becomes pregnant. She puts her widow’s clothes back on and goes home. Judah sends Hirah back with the goat, but Hirah can’t find the prostitute. Hirah asks around, but the men there say, “There’s no shrine prostitute here.” Hirah tells Judah, and Judah thinks it’s best to let it go, or they would “become a laughingstock.” Yeah, way to keep the fornication on the DL, Hirah. Running around telling everyone. Sheesh. Is that the first socially limited person in the Bible? Haha. It’s probably my ancestor.

About three months later, Tamar starts showing. People go to Judah and say, “Tamar is guilty of prostitution, and now she’s pregnant.” Judah responds, “Bring her out and burn her to death.” Now, this was more painful than the regular punishment at the time (which was rolling a large stone on top of the person, crushing them instantly). This was overkill. Judah is thinking, “First, she caused my sons to die. Then she gets pregnant. She’s been nothing but trouble to me. All of this is her fault.” Tamar whips out Judah’s property, showing that she tricked him into getting what she deserved.

Judah recognized his stuff and said, “She is more righteous than I.” He gets it. He’s convicted. He did not sleep with Tamar again. There were twin boys in her womb. During labor, one boy put his hand out, and the midwife tied a scarlet thread on his wrist to mark him as firstborn. But he drew his hand back and his brother came out first. The midwife said, “So, this is how you have broken out!” She named that one Perez, and the one with the scarlet thread was named Zerah. Perez is the one who continued the Messianic lineage listed in Matthew and Luke.

This story not only serves as a wake-up call to Judah, showing that he is in need of a spiritual makeover, it shows a contrast between himself and his younger brother, Joseph. Joseph resists sexual temptation in the next chapter. Judah succumbs to it. I like that Tamar’s reaction to being charged with harlotry was to imply that the man was as guilty as she was. The Bible sticks a fork in the moral double standard here. Wherever that double standard came from or however natural and universal it is, it isn’t approved by scripture, Judah, Tamar, or the Genesis writer.

There are no real heroes in this chapter. It’s important that we get that. Judah did. In this world, there are people who willingly mess up a lot. Then there are people who act more righteously than others in some situations. But, other times, they mess up too. Judah no longer lives in a world where he could just blame Joseph, his brothers, or his father, or some young widow for every conflict and tragedy. He can’t just take off either. “Wherever you go, there you are.” 

He has to face consequences when he deserves them. This time, he learned to repent and own up to his unjust and slutty behavior. Soon, he’ll own his past sin of selling Joseph by attempting to make it up to his father. I like this story because it shows how much your character can grow and how self-sacrificing you can become if you first learn to recognize where you're failing. Just the realization can change you. 

Onanism. You’ve been warned/this might get too real.

Genesis 38: 1-10 The Bible decides to leave us in suspense as to what happened to Joseph in order to focus on Jesus’ ancestor, Judah, and something weird that happened with him, his sons, and this woman named Tamar. We’ll take the first part of the chapter this week and the second part of the chapter next week.

Judah left his brothers and went to stay with another man. He met a Canaanite woman named Shua and married her. In Genesis, this is usually a bad move. God wants his people in a specific area, marrying a specific people. Whenever this family branches out and marries foreign women, they get crummy kids, strife, and other problems. Judah and Shua had three sons, Er, Onan, and Shelah, and they aren’t what we would call a rousing success for humanity. Judah arranged a marriage between his oldest son and a woman named Tamar.

But God decided Er was too wicked to live and killed him. We don’t know what he did, but it must have been bad. Maybe he was greedy. God has been known to smite the greedy. Then Judah told Onan, “Sleep with Tamar to fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law, and raise up children for your brother.” Onan knew the child would not legally be his. So whenever he slept with Tamar, he’d spill his semen on the ground so she wouldn’t get pregnant. God didn’t like this and put Onan to death too.

This is supposedly the masturbation portion of the Bible. (Yeah, I’m going there.) Many people (still, shockingly) go, “See! See! Onan masturbated and God didn’t like that and killed him.” Okay…sigh. It’s fine with me if you believe masturbation is wrong. I believe porn and objectifying people aren’t great (Matt. 5:27), and lots of people need to engage in those activities in order to masturbate. But to use this passage as evidence against all masturbation isn’t a strong move, logically.

First of all, the old testament is obsessed with procreation and heirs. They need to build the tribe, they need to continue to the family line so that Jesus can be born, the oldest son is very important, it’s taboo to marry a foreign woman (or a woman who isn’t related to you in some way), and heirs are a man’s very future. None of that is the case today. Secondly, I’m inclined to think that God was more concerned with the selfishness and lack of honor shown by Onan that the act he performed in order to avoid his duties.

Third, would we ever make a legal surrogate son for a dead sibling by sleeping with their widow? No. Does God necessarily want us to do that? No. It was about Onan’s heart. There aren’t a whole lot of life rules here besides “don’t be a sneaky jerk.” Tamar needed kids to support her in her old, widowed age in the future. It was a legal duty among these people that survived years later and was codified in Deuteronomy. It did not survive after rabbinical law was dropped. Fourth, there is doubt as to whether this was even masturbation. It sounds more like pulling out to me. Fifth, Onan used Tamar for sex. Hey, maybe THAT’S the capital sin here.

It may surprise you, but I don’t think masturbation is that important, one way or another. We gorge ourselves on Taco Bell (gluttony). Is that any different than…scratching an itch? Is masturbating worse than having sex before marriage? A guy once told me that it will happen anyway in your sleep if you don’t get that release. My mom had a kindergarten classmate who would do it. All the kids called her “worms” because they thought she was scratching at worms. BAH HAHAHA. Someone else told me that it’s actually sex because it’s “sex with yourself.” I disagree with that. Sex is a mechanism that helps people connect and become one flesh. I’m already one flesh with my flesh.

If God thought masturbation was a big deal, he would have AT LEAST mentioned it in Leviticus where sex is extensively discussed. Even in strict rabbinical law, masturbation doesn’t factor. It’s like God is saying, “Yeah, that’s your business. You can’t police that.” How can it be a big deal or huge sin if Leviticus didn't even care about it? I don't think we need another Biblical rule that's nearly impossible to follow. I'm still working on "love your neighbor as yourself," thanks. Don't add things!!!

I think this is one of those issues where it depends on the person (like watching rated-R movies; some people can parse them logically, or know what’s going to disturb them or tempt them. Some people are moldable or too young). What are you thinking about when you’re doing it? Is it an addiction for you? Does it drive you away from God? Does it fuel inappropriate levels of lust? What are you looking at when you’re doing it? Do you feel icky afterward? What if you’re thinking about your spouse? What if your mind is clear? Does it mean you are “mastered by the flesh” if you are not master of your domain? If you spend all your time resisting and thinking about resisting, doesn’t it master you then?

Does Paul’s “I can do anything, but I won’t be ruled by anything” assertion apply here? (Because if you’re addicted to it, yeah, that’s not great). Have you pledged allegiance to a church that forbids it? Is it hurting anybody? Should we necessarily assume that it negates purity? What’s unpure about a Christian’s body if the mind is on allowable things? Does it help your self-control to fight the urge? Does that make you a better person? These are all things you have to think about. The Bible doesn’t talk about it. It’s a grey area where you get to decide if it’s helpful or harmless. It’s between you, God, and the fencepost… Actually, leave the fencepost out of it. Oh jeez, I swear this is a Christian blog you guys.

Are you still with me?

I shouldn't be allowed to talk.

I know some people are going to strongly disagree, and they have a point. Even if it's okay, there's a fine and mostly mental line between "natural" and "okay, now you're giving into lust too much." I don't like when people say, "Well, it could lead to actually having sex or adultery." Of course you can find a link between something everyone does and anything a group does later in life. Hey guys, studies show that 99% of people who read books, ride bikes, enjoy ice cream, and enjoy frolicking on the beach masturbated in their teens?!!!! Well, now you know. Even if you think it's a sin, you have to admit we have much bigger concerns. Still disagree? Then enjoy this useful article http://christwire.org/2010/05/how-to-spot-a-masturbator/

I hope all that bragging was worth it, dude

I have two younger siblings, and I think I’ve mentioned before that we are close. Why? We live by our “sibling code.” Most siblings’ codes are unwritten, but we’re anal enough to write ours down. The code is as follows:

• Keep each other’s secrets when asked
• Never rat each other out, unless the sibling is in real danger (meaning work your conflicts out with each other without involving “the olds” as mediators)
• Don’t throw them under the bus or make them look bad to make thyself look good to thy parents
• Have each other’s backs in conflicts, be they physical or verbal
• The enemy of my sibling is my enemy
• Encourage thy sibling, let them know you are in their corner, and let them know you have high hopes for their futures
• Be your sibling’s friend and spend time with him/her
• Inform sibling when someone is secretly mad at our him and the sibling needs to fix it.
• Give the sibling advice on how to handle specific people or situations, when needed
• Call thy sibling out when he/she is being a douchebag and no one else will tell them
• Be honest and keep promises
• Trust thy sibling and know they have good intentions
• Share thy car (and leave the keys on the table by the door)
• Don’t be greedy with money toward thy sibling
• Don’t be a mooch
• Keep the communal bathroom clean (ish)
• Love everyone they date, unless they are abusive
• If thou art forced to share a bed, like when travelling, you must do your utmost to avoid touching them.
• If sibling yells shotgun, but you beat them to it in a race, sibling can go pound sand
• If it’s thine own car, you get shotgun if you aren’t driving
• Nose goes
• Give thy blood and organs
• Don’t compete and control thy jealousy
• Remember that the oldest sets the tone for the relationships. If the oldest treats the younger ones like they are pieces of crap, too young to hang out with, and only hangs out with their cool, older friends, the tone will be lame.
• Babysit their children and dogs
• Give their TV shows, movies, and books a chance
• Steal their fries when they aren’t looking
• Keep in touch

It boils down to respect. Siblings are humans too. Infuriating humans sometimes, but humans. Jacob’s sons were codeless siblings. This was mostly because Jacob had a favorite. It is a rare sibling code that can survive a parent loving one above all the others. Joseph was 17, and he seems like a spoiled brat. First of all, he “gave his father a bad report” about his brothers. Talkin’ smack. Tattletale. Jacob rewarded him with an “ornate” coat. 

We can just see his jealous older brothers seething. “Who does this guy think he is? Yeah, he was born when our dad was old to his favorite wife, but he’s such a backstabbing pain.” Joseph sounds like an arrogant little dilhole. His brothers end up doing him a favor by putting him through a lot of pain. It molds his character. As a teen, Joseph has these dreams about reigning over his brothers and them bowing down to him. Like a moron, HE TELLS THEM. Even Jacob wasn’t too thrilled to hear about these dreams (even though he “keeps the matter in mind.”) 

Joseph’s brothers are always painted as the bad guys in this story, with Joseph portrayed as meek, wide-eyed, and just telling the truth about the dreams (like in the musical version). It’s possible that Joseph didn’t have any tact or he had Asperger’s or something, but it’s more likely that the Bible shows an unwise teenager in need of grace, baiting his family. After getting a poor reaction from telling the first dream (one tellingly involving food), Joseph goes ahead and tells his family about the second dream. Once again, the Bible doesn’t have heroes and bad guys. It has people. It’s the story of God interacting with real people. 

The Jewish religious leaders didn’t change these stories to make their ancestors look perfect. They were interested in accuracy. The distasteful things and people in the Bible are evidence that it’s true. No one would make this stuff up. It’s too nasty. It gets even worse: Jacob’s many brothers plot to kill Joseph and throw him into a cistern. He’s just too annoying and uppity to live, and that way his dreams won’t come true, right? The oldest, Rueben, isn’t onboard. He says, “Let’s not kill him ourselves. Let’s just throw him into a cistern in the wilderness.” 

Rueben, like your typical conscientious oldest, wanted to rescue Joseph later. He did not, however, have the leadership moxie he should have. He should have been able to just say, “No, that’s a bad idea. Let’s take the high road.” He might have enjoyed being in the mob of brothers with an enemy to bond them. Rueben might have felt belonging and didn’t want them to oust him too. When you take a stand, you have to go all the way with it. Joseph shows up, the brothers take his precious robe, and they throw him in a dry cistern (a hole). Rueben leaves and the other brothers start eating dinner. Bad move leaving, Rueben. 

Some Ishmaelites show up, and one of the brothers and Jesus’s direct ancestor, Judah, says, “Why kill Joseph when we can sell him as a slave? After all, he’s our own flesh and blood. Killing’s probably too bad.” His brothers agree and they do it. They didn’t even make a lot of money. Joseph is then sold to one of the Egyptian Pharaoh’s officials, Potiphar. Rueben returns, sees the empty cistern, and tears his clothes. The brothers cover Joseph’s robe in goat blood, take it back to their father, and claim a wild animal ate Joseph. Jacob is crushed. As usual, God will use all of this for good. Still, if this family were functional, God probably would have brought the good about anyway. He’s a Man with a plan.

Are tattoos sinful?

My sister sent me this video, so rather than continue with Genesis, I'm gonna be lazy and post it. I'm knee-deep in a book right now, and I want to finish it, not blog. I mostly agree. What do you guys think of tattoos?

Lovers of Violence

Genesis 34-36: Dinah, Leah and Jacob’s daughter, left home to go visit some other women. In ancient days, women had little legal protection, and it was fine and normal for a woman to be raped if she was unattended. Leah and Jacob shouldn’t have let her walk around alone, especially since she had so many brothers. What happens is kind of their fault. Shechem, the area’s prince, saw Dinah, took her, and raped her. Then the Bible says his heart was drawn to Dinah and he loved her and spoke tenderly to her.

It’s funny that the Bible calls it love. Shechem said to his father, Hamor, the ruler of the area, “Get me this girl as my wife.” When Jacob heard that his daughter had been “defiled,” the Bible’s word, not mine, his sons were in the fields. Hamor went to talk with Jacob just as Jacob’s sons had come back. They were shocked and furious, because “Shechem had done an outrageous thing in Israel…a thing that should not be done.” Hamor said, “Look, my son has his heart set on Dinah. Let’s intermarry with each other. You can live in our land, trade in it, and own property there. Charge me a high bride price. I’ll give you whatever you want, just give me the woman.”

When Jacob hears the news, he doesn’t react in a way that condemns Shechem’s actions. He doesn’t get angry, and he doesn’t ask for justice. This is what happens when you sweep things like this under the rug. Someone is going to get mad and possibly go overboard. They will think, “Someone needs to do something, and I guess it’s me.” As the father and the leader, Jacob should have made the confrontations. Jacob’s sons decided to make something up to get revenge. They said, “You have to circumcise all your men first, and then we’ll do it. That’s what our people do for our God.” Shechem “lost no time in doing what they said.”

 Shechem and Hamor went back to their men and said, “Circumcise yourselves, and later Jacob’s livestock and property will probably become ours. Let’s get them to come here and settle among us.” Every male in the city agreed (that’s how greedy they were) and was circumcised. Three days later, while the men were still healing, Jacob’s sons, Simeon and Levi, attacked the city and killed every male. They looted the city and come home with all animals, property, women, children, and their sister, Dinah.

The first time I read this story, I think I read it wrong. The temptation is to think of what Jacob’s sons did as honorable, clever, and manly, but it really isn’t. Still, we have some sympathy for them because they stepped up where their father didn’t. It’s complicated. They did use the sign of God’s covenant with Israel (circumcision) for their own vengeful purposes. That’s kind of a perversion, right? Also, you’d have to be very cold to do all of this. Those are some hard hearts; the same hard hearts that will rise up against their own brother, Joseph, later. It’s also overkill (no pun intended). Only Shechem hurt Dinah.

In this society, we still think might, violence, good fighters, and “bad assness” are good traits. Are they? In some ancient cultures (like Rome), strength and pride were good things. When Christianity started spreading, it didn’t revolutionize culture right away. There were crusades and holy wars partly because that mentality of killing for your religion, family, and land were still embedded in the mind of society. That ego-driven bloodlust twisted Christianity into the version of Christianity that would most please the powerful. It took a while for us to value peace and meekness. I feel like that love of violent strength is coming back. Just look at the movies. It’s fun. Everyone loves a good action scene and admires the winner. So yeah, coming from this time and place, I was like, “Hell, yeah. Levi and Simeon are real men.” I think I was wrong. But where is the line between sin and satisfying vigilante-ism? Is there one?

 Jacob wasn’t happy. The brothers replied, “Should he have treated our sister like a prostitute.” Later in Geneis, Jacob has this to say of these two sons: “Instruments of cruelty are in their dwelling place. Let not my soul enter their council; let not my honor be united to their assembly. For in their anger, they slew a man…Cursed be their anger, for it is fierce and their wrath for it is cruel.” Jacob said, “Let them be scattered throughout Israel.” This came true. Simeon’s tribe was dissolved for a failure and became part of Judah. In Exodus, Levi was scattered for a good reason and ended up blessing Israel. So sometimes a curse turns out good?

Jacob shouldn’t have been in this area. Had he obeyed God and not feared Esau, Dinah wouldn’t have been there to be raped. Now, God told Jacob again to go to Bethel (where God had told Jacob to go in the first place). God was more receptive to the instructions this time. He realized it was time for this family to have a spiritual makeover. Jacob told everyone in his household to get rid of foreign gods/idols, purify themselves, and change their clothes. He said, “Let’s go to Bethel, where I will build an altar to God, who answered me in the day of my distress and who has been with me wherever I have gone.” So they gave Jacob all the idols and their earrings, and Jacob buried them.

When they set out, the “terror of God” fell on the towns all around them so that no one pursued them. Despite all the mistakes, God didn’t let this incident destroy this family. They arrived at their destination. There, Rebekah’s nurse, Deborah, died. They named her burial place “Oak of Weeping.” Even though Deborah was never mentioned before or after this, she must have been well loved.  God appeared to Jacob again, repeating old blessings. Jacob set up a stone pillar, poured a drink offering on it, and he also poured oil on it.

 Rachel was pregnant around that time, but her childbirth was difficult. With her last breath, she named her son Ben-Oni (meaning “son of my sorrow”), but Jacob changed the name to Benjamin (meaning “son of my right hand”). Good call, Jacob. Rachel was buried on the way to Bethlehem. Israel moved on again, and his oldest son, Reuben, slept with Bilhah, Jacob’s concubine.

I pointed out that Jesus came from Judah’s line, even though he is fourth born. Sometimes God completely disregards the tradition of favoring the oldest with the inheritance. Sometimes the oldest gives the inheritance away (like Esau did). Sometimes they show that they can’t handle it. Rueben slept with his father’s concubine, and Simeon and Levi kill a bunch of people. The next in line is Judah. That’s how it happened.

Jacob went to Isaac’s location. Isaac lived until 180. Jacob and Esau buried him. The Bible then lists Esau’s family line. His descendents are many, and a few are rulers and other wealthy men. Even though Esau didn’t get the blessing, he didn’t end up with nothing. It was the spiritual legacy he gave up. His descendants have names meanings that include “wicked” and one that incorporates the name of the popular ancient god, Baal.