Women afraid to be themselves in the church? Um, absolutely.

“I’ve had numerous conversations with women who are sincerely conflicted about how to legitimately bring their voice into relationships simply because of their gender. One woman told me she realized it was much easier for her to use her voice when she was single and working in the business world. In Christian circles, she felt all the relational lines had been redrawn to caution her against using her voice. “I felt a sense of energy when I showed up to a meeting at work where I was prepared to engage collaboratively. When I attend meetings at church, I don’t expect to contribute and often feel that it would not be my place to do so,” she said. The difference she noticed as she entered the room was predominantly internal. In one she felt integral, the other incidental.

Now, however, she feels a box had been drawn for her with four strong walls labeled, “Submission,” “Quiet,” “Gentle Spirit,” and “Authority Structure.” Sadly, she was led to question her value as a person more after she entered the church than before. When she inadvertently stepped over invisible lines by asking questions or starting conversations, she felt the message was clear that she had gone far enough..She felt often confused by the complicated, subtle messages that she had to be distant, cautious, and not engage too personally…

At church, the woman inferred from the leadership that she was to speak only when spoken to. Her attempts to conversationally engage matters of interest to her in the ministry of the church felt undervalued; often, her attempts were ignored completely. She began to realize compulsory steps were required of her in this dance, involving carefully nuancing her remarks, monitoring and measuring her tone, and speaking tentatively, in a hesitant voice so as not to appear “too strong.” One other woman told me that anytime she even asked a question, she felt church leadership viewed her as dangerous…She voiced a fear I hear often from Christian women, that of being blackballed. “I have known women who after speaking up were rarely asked to do anything again at church. Now I understand more fully why I feel more comfortable asking my husband to voice my thoughts than speaking of them myself.” Both she and her husband would agree that when he speaks, he is taken more seriously and is better received.

Strength seems to be valued when it’s an internal, unseen quality, but not so much when paired with a woman’s voice. It’s possible that being viewed as a strong woman appears to be a spiritual defect. When a woman feels compeled to hold back from revealing her essence, to withhold her voice, one must ask if the reason is fear. Is there more safety in hiding?

”

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Pam Macrae You guys would not believe how happy I was to read this. FINALLY, someone knew what I was talking about when I said I didn’t feel comfortable and accepted in the church. There are other people out there who don’t think I’m “silly”!??? It’s kind of healing to hear it’s not just me. My aunt gave me this book, and I didn't expect to like it, but I do. It's all about how Christian women should have integrity (rather than just being quiet, social, manipulative, and sweet. Whenever I'm in church, I feel like I'm in trouble, even if I don't say a word. I feel depressed. I feel unwanted. I followed all "the rules." Heck, who else is a 26-year-old virgin around here? But I feel like the defective, uncouth weirdo in any church setting and have since I was an adolescent.  I know mostly dudes read this blog, but if any women feel the same way...you're not alone. I wonder if dudes feel this way ever? Also, I feel like this is less the guys' faults and more of the pressure from the "perfect" Christian moms and wives who need to make sure other women stay in line. That's why I struggle with going to church. If I can't be authentic and make real relationships...what's the point? If I can sense that the other women are unnaturally subdued, how can I get to know them? If I leave feeling depressed, is it all on me? Another quote from that book: Never did Christ nag, flatter, coax, patronize, or make jokes about women. He took their questions and arguments seriously, never mapping out their spheres for them. He simply had no axe to grind. He took them as he found them. Perhaps it is no wonder that the women were first at the Cradle and last at the Cross. They had never known a man like this Man- there never has been such another. (Paraphrased from Dorothy Sayers)

Job's health is destroyed

Job 2- I've heard it said that if you don't have your health, you don't have anything. I think that's true, to an extent, because you can't really do anything. How can you concentrate with a headache, a mind clouded by drugs, or surgeries to worry about?

You can't focus on anything but pain and discomfort. You feel out of control of your own body and your life. If the sickness is permanent, you feel as though your best days are behind you. And, of course, there are the mortality issues. We're wired to want to survive.

That's why it took Job to a super dark place when his health was taken. Satan came for another visit and God said, "Job still maintains his integrity, though you incited me against him to ruin him without any reason." It's interesting that God takes credit for the ruin and says he was incited against Job, even though he just took away the protection and Satan did all the actual ruining. He takes full responsibility for things that aren't entirely his fault. It also showed that God had full control of the situation and it only happened because God allowed it.

Satan says, "Skin for skin! A man will give all he has for his own life. Stretch out your hand and strike his flesh and bones, and he will surely curse you to your face." Satan's theory is that Job stayed quiet so that he would not be killed as well, and that he was fine with losing his family because he was spared. "Skin for skin." He traded his kids for his own security, Satan thinks (and that's probably what Satan would do if he had kids, haha). So, the Lord allows Satan to cover Job with sores from head to foot.

Satan has failed in the emotional/mental attack. He is now going for the flesh. In my teens, I (wrongly) thought it would be fun to see if I could fit the family puppy's whole head in my mouth. I could, but I was in for a shock. I didn't know the puppy would perceive the situation as " I'm being eaten." She did, and she let out a scream such as I've never heard. That's the survival instinct. The instant scream and despair when your body is threatened. All animals fear this. Satan knows we're part animal. He knows a huge part of us is attached to our flesh.

It wasn't just sores either. Later in the book of Job, we find out that he also suffered from bone pain, skin that grew black and fell off, halitosis, itching, fever, and emaciation. Job scrapes himself with a piece of broken pottery, probably to help with the itching.

Job's wife advised him to give up his integrity, curse God, and die. On a shallow reading, it might seem like this woman is a godless villain, but she's just lost her home and kids. She doesn't know it's because she happened to marry Job. She's saying that death would be better than what Job is going through. She doesn't think there is a way up from this. Of course, she's wrong and Satan got her to abandon her integrity, but she's also pretty normal. Job didn't cave to his wife's influence.

Then Job's three friends, Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar, came to comfort him. When they saw him, they hardly recognized him. They started crying, tore their robes, and sprinkled dust on their heads. They sat on the ground with him for seven days, not saying a word. Later, we find out that these friends are frenemies, but their initial action was cool. If only they had kept their mouths shut, didn't start judging, and just continued to sit quietly, in the same position as Job was. But that's for later.

Job's wife didn't want to see him suffer; it would have been better to join their children in heaven then to live with what she probably assumed as an incurable illness. It's hard to say when someone's health is so bad that they should just go ahead and die. In Job's situation, death would have been the wrong answer, so he held on.

Does that mean euthanasia is the wrong answer, Biblically, for all or most people? Maybe this passage isn't about that at all, but it's interesting evidence for one of the sides that Job stayed, and he's seen to be a good guy with integrity. Either way, it must suck to lose your health. Maybe I'll go for a bike ride today and lay off the Taco Bell....