I didn't kill my brother, but I can be kind of a Cain

Genesis 4: Now, here’s where I brag to everyone about how that will never be my siblings and me. We have a ton of fun hanging out and love each other. Part of it is because neither of our parents showed favoritism, ever, at all. My brother and I were talking about how much it's gonna suck when either of our parents die.I said, "At least us three siblings might get closer." My Brother said, "We can get closer? If we got any closer, that would just be weird." This is true. My sibling relationships are some of the only ones that I’m sure I haven’t completely messed up. There is a quote that says, “Your siblings are your strongest link to your childhood and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.” I wholly agree. I’d throw myself in front of Voldemort’s wand for my little brother. How could Cain kill his? That’s a headspace I struggled to get into, until I wrote this post.

Here, sex is mentioned for the first time in the Bible, although this should not indicate that this is the first time A/E had sex. Sex is good, so they probably had it in Eden. I love the way the word for sex here is “knew.” Even though it is merely a polite term for sex at the time, it defines sex’s nature. Instead of a crass or technical term like we today would substitute, the Bible uses a term with more juice, putting a high level of value on sex.

Eve started making babies. How freaked out would she have been when this started happening? Did she wonder why they came out so small? I looked it up, and Cain means “I’ve got him” or “Here he is.” Eve was promised descendants from God and now she has them. Did Adam and Eve think he was the promised Messiah that would crush the Serpent with his heel? Did they put way too much pressure on Cain to be great?

    

Cain and Abel both do the right, religious thing. Why was Cain’s offering rejected? Many people point out that Abel brought the first of his flock, which does show that Abel was ready to give his best to God, no matter the unforeseen cost. But I prefer to look at Hebrews 11. Verse three says, “By faith Abel offered up a more excellent sacrifice than Cain.” This shows that Abel had real faith and was really seeking God. This also shows that faith requires more than just belief in God or being sure that he is real. Cain knew God was real and conversed with him.

But there was no trust. Cain’s offering was likely done out of religious obligation or to prove to God how good he was. God is looking at the heart, not deciding he likes meat better than fruit (although that sounds perfectly reasonable, haha). In rejecting and accepting the offerings, did God use heavenly fire or lack thereof to manifest these decisions to the men? Was it public? Were their parents watching Abel receive approval and Cain, the supposed Messiah, get dissed? Or did Cain’s life just start to go downhill, while Abel prospered?

Cain is ticked. God lovingly says, essentially, “Now son. Suck it up and do better next time.” God warns Cain that sin desires him, but he should rule over it. Sin is crouching at Cain’s door and the MORE sin he does, the more of a force in his life it becomes. You lose control of how much the sin permeates your life in mind, until it has complete control and is running you. Cain kills Abel out of jealousy. I believe jealousy comes from a pride/lack of love. It’s lack of love for yourself, your own life, God, and the person you are jealous of.

God questions Cain. Again with the questioning to this family, when you know that God sure isn’t looking for information. He’s teaching. He knows we need to figure things out for ourselves and that we need an opportunity to confess sin. Cain says, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” Yes, Cain. You are. As the oldest, it was your responsibility to protect and nurture your brother. Der. Poor Abel. Jesus came with Abel's same faith-filled attitude, and the Cains killed him too.

God says that Abel’s blood is crying out from the ground, which is repeated in Numbers when the blood of unpunished murders defiles the land. God wants justice and everything in nature cries for justice. Violence leaves a stain on the very land. That’s why I would hesitate to visit places like Rwanda or a Holocaust site. That kind of violence just doesn’t leave, spiritually, until there is justice. Cain is concerned about the violence of others and he also gets a wife. I think the easiest explanation for this is that God created more people after A/E. God gives A/E Seth after this, and Seth is the ancestor of the Messiah. Who told A/E that Cain killed Abel? Did they both disappear? Was the body found? Did Cain fess up? Did God tell A/E?

Cain has a descendent, Lamech, who is vengeful and violent. He was also the first practitioner of polygamy recorded. Later in the Bible, we will see that polygamy usually has negative consequences. There is a difference between what the Bible records and what the Bible approves of. We also see the first sign of music and the arts here, as well as metalworking. Then we hear that “At that time, people began to call upon the name of the Lord.” What a cool-sounding verse. This is the first spiritual incline and revival after spiritual decline.

So, getting into Cain’s headspace: Cain is living life right, under high expectations. He is doing the religious thing and looking for approval for it, but no matter what happens, he isn’t succeeding. Wow. That sounds familiar. My family didn’t expect me to be the Messiah, like Cain’s did, but expectations and standards were  high. As a child and in high school, I lived a moral life, never fornicated, didn’t drink, didn’t rebel, went to church, volunteered, gave to charity, didn’t lie, didn’t cheat, lost weight, did everything the adults asked of me, didn’t curse, read all the old books, succeeded academically, had all the “right” political beliefs and knew the Bible better than most adult Christians. I was a pretty good Pharisee, bringing my sacrifices and fearing rejection.

Despite all my efforts, I struggled to convince adults that I was a good, caring person. Growing up, my brother and sister were the sweet, complimentary, social charming ones, and I was (gasp!) introverted, slightly oblivious to social cues and norms, and direct. I was always getting criticized for my personality, and it didn’t help that I was homeschooled for a while and often truly didn’t know when I said the wrong things. There were no introverts or nerds in my family until one of my cousins was born and an uncle married into the family. (Sidenote: they are the BEST)

This is not just a social temperament to many Christians; it's a character defect. At first, I tried to change and realized I couldn’t. I mocked my siblings to placate myself, calling them “fake.” I was jealous and angry, and I get why Cain was so upset. Later, I stretched into what all the personality quizzes call an “ambivert,” meaning that I'm pretty extroverted now, but I still have some introvert characteristics. It depends on the people I'm with.

I'll never win over certain people. For everyone who thinks I'm awful, there are other people who don't. You can’t control who likes or understands you. You have to trust that even if you never get it right, your security and joy are in God, not your own performance or pleasing others. Paul says in the New Testament that he does not judge himself and that others cannot judge him either. It’s truly an audience of one. 

You should only be concerned with what God thinks, and since Jesus’ righteousness applies to you and God loved you enough to make and die for you, those questions are answered. Abel lived out of gratitude to and worship of God, and Cain was trying to earn approval. You have nothing to work for.  In this story, success and failure hinged on the heart. Also, it was about the ability to take rejection and criticism without letting them devastate you. Mostly, it was about doing every good deed with total faith and trust in God.

Check out this article about the Blue Like Jazz movie. It's interesting: http://donmilleris.com/2012/03/21/the-christian-movie-establishment-vs-blue-like-jazz/ I especially agree that there is nothing wrong with airing our "dirty laundry."